Hi All!
Well, it's almost the end of 2011 already. And what a year! This was the year I decided to lose weight, go to the dentist, and get myself checked out by my primary care physician. I did lose the weight (gained some back), got to the dentist multiple times (root canal, three cleanings, three fillings and a crown), found breast cancer in one breast (very very early, thank God), found out I had the BRCA2 gene mutation, got a double mastectomy and double oophorectomy, and breast reconstruction. All that and all I can say is THANK YOU LORD FOR MY LIFE!
I am not in pain, I am able to do everything I did before and I didn't have to go through more treatments above the reconstruction. I am truly blessed!!!! I learned a lot about myself this year. I found out that I really do need Jesus Christ for everything and that He is the way, the truth and the life! Reading healing scripture (reading the Bible daily also is a plus) and prayer by both myself and others really do work! I am loved by God, my family, and friends - and I love them, too! I have a reason for being here, and God has given me that reason and what I need to do His Will. I also know that I am not perfect and I am a work in progress. I am here to help others and I am also allowed to accept help from others. I am allowed to be happy and joyful and to have a positive attitude. I am allowed to have fun and not sit in my misery and feel sorry for myself asking God why. I am a righteous child of God and that is all I need to know!
I read a phrase on Facebook the other day from Joyce Meyer - "Glance at your circumstances - stare at Jesus". That really touched me. I am learning to glance at my circumstances - they are only temporary. Jesus is for eternity - I need to concentrate on Him! When I follow Him the rest of my life falls into place. My life's journey is to follow and work towards becoming Christ-like. I have a long way to go - but I am enjoying the journey.
Happy New Year All! May you have a happy, healthy, and blessed 2012.
Love,
Kelly
Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Christmas is Almost Here!
If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:7 NLT
God's peace is what is keeping me going and in such great spirits. I am at the end of my reconstruction fill-ups - one more visit for the last 10cc's in each side and I am done. Then I sit tight and wait for 4-6 weeks until my outpatient implant surgery. I will be soooo glad to get these expanders out of me. They don't cause me to not be able to do my everyday stuff - they are just uncomfortable and are pretty rigid. I am now at a C cup and plan to stay that way. I am so glad that I have the opportunity for reconstruction. It helps me to feel more like my old self with something there than to be totally flat. I understand why some women don't go my route, it ain't easy. But I did this for me to keep me as close to normal as I can get. If something goes wrong and it implants don't work out for me - I know that I tried and will feel good about that.
Is everyone ready for Christmas? We are never ready until Christmas Day. We always have a great time. It will be a bit somber without my parents around to celebrate with us. We always wish my mother a happy birthday since she shares her birthday with Christ :-) We had such wonderful Christmas's growing up - with Dad and his 8MM camera and lights - it felt like we were in Hollywood - and the wonderful display of gifts that my mother so painstakenly set up for us.. We have those memories captured on film and can watch them anytime. I look forward to the day when I can watch them without tears - not sure if that will ever happen.
I have met and heard of so many people with cancer diagnoses. It's epidemic. What is going on? Is it all the chemicals in our food and water? Maybe it's our lifestyles of never getting exercise but always running (usually via internet or sitting in our cars) and eating fast food. I have to say I have not been doing well with my diet over the last few months. I need to get back to eating right and slimming down my portions. I sure do love to overindulge!
May you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Remember to keep the Christ in Christmas! And don't be afraid do tell someone "Merry Christmas" - it's not a sin! And if they don't like it they will tell you - but you can just state that this is who you are - you celebrate Christmas. If you are not a Christian - I still say Merry Christmas - I am wishing God's blessings and love on you.
Love and blessings to all!
Kelly
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Latest "Fill Up"
Yesterday I went for me next fill up. We didn't add as much this time. My right breast (new one) seems to have more feeling and is more sensative. So it is currently smaller than the left side. I can't tolerate as much saline as I can on the left. It also has more skin left over after the surgery so is having trouble protruding outwards and is a little too far over to the right. The PS is taking his time and working to correct this.
It looks like I won't have the implant surgery until sometime in the Spring. I'm not really in any hurry, but the expanders are a bit uncomfortable at times. The pressure is the problem, not really painful. It takes me a little while at night in bed to get comfortable. The expanders are a little ungiving and harder than the implants will be. I am looking forward to the implants which are supposed to be much softer and more giving.
The left side is expanding very well and is very close to being to the size I want. I guess I will end up a C cup, which is fine. I was a B cup in my younger days, but that was before kids :-) The difference now is that they are no longer two saggy bags. The bad thing is the two scars, which will be re-cut and probably made straighter across at the next surgery.
I have been exercising and using free weights. The PS told me that I can do any exercise I want including push ups. I think I will wait on the push ups until after my surgeries are all over. I wasn't too good at them before the surgery.
Through all this God is in control. He is always there cheering me on through people and circumstances.
I got a great surprise on Monday. My husband and son's Karate school, Kraimer's Karate, collected three big boxes of groceries and gift cards for me and my family. I was so overwhelmed at the generosity and felt so blessed. What a great group of caring people! God's love shining through! One of the ladies at the school also had breast cancer and went through a lumpectomy and cancer treatments. I will be touching base with her soon to see how she is doing.
Do you see how God takes a bad circumstance like breast cancer, and turns it into many positive circumstances? Romans 8:28. God is so good!
We went to Jim's parent's this weekend and had dinner at my sister-in-law's house. I also go to visit with our friend, Judy. She also shares in her own breast cancer journey. She has not had it easy but has the best attitude and is such an inspiration to me. She prays for me daily and praises God every step of the way. She made a beautiful white scarf and wore it when she visited us. I liked it so much that she gave it to me. I will have to take a picture with it so all can see. Soon I'll be trying to post the cancer walk and cancer ride pictures I just need to get them scanned and figure out how to post them in this blog.
Hope all had a Happy Thanksgiving. And I hope you were able to thank God for all that you have and not complain about what you don't have. And I hope you were able to spend time with those you love.
Have a great day and week!
Love,
Kelly
It looks like I won't have the implant surgery until sometime in the Spring. I'm not really in any hurry, but the expanders are a bit uncomfortable at times. The pressure is the problem, not really painful. It takes me a little while at night in bed to get comfortable. The expanders are a little ungiving and harder than the implants will be. I am looking forward to the implants which are supposed to be much softer and more giving.
The left side is expanding very well and is very close to being to the size I want. I guess I will end up a C cup, which is fine. I was a B cup in my younger days, but that was before kids :-) The difference now is that they are no longer two saggy bags. The bad thing is the two scars, which will be re-cut and probably made straighter across at the next surgery.
I have been exercising and using free weights. The PS told me that I can do any exercise I want including push ups. I think I will wait on the push ups until after my surgeries are all over. I wasn't too good at them before the surgery.
Through all this God is in control. He is always there cheering me on through people and circumstances.
I got a great surprise on Monday. My husband and son's Karate school, Kraimer's Karate, collected three big boxes of groceries and gift cards for me and my family. I was so overwhelmed at the generosity and felt so blessed. What a great group of caring people! God's love shining through! One of the ladies at the school also had breast cancer and went through a lumpectomy and cancer treatments. I will be touching base with her soon to see how she is doing.
Do you see how God takes a bad circumstance like breast cancer, and turns it into many positive circumstances? Romans 8:28. God is so good!
We went to Jim's parent's this weekend and had dinner at my sister-in-law's house. I also go to visit with our friend, Judy. She also shares in her own breast cancer journey. She has not had it easy but has the best attitude and is such an inspiration to me. She prays for me daily and praises God every step of the way. She made a beautiful white scarf and wore it when she visited us. I liked it so much that she gave it to me. I will have to take a picture with it so all can see. Soon I'll be trying to post the cancer walk and cancer ride pictures I just need to get them scanned and figure out how to post them in this blog.
Hope all had a Happy Thanksgiving. And I hope you were able to thank God for all that you have and not complain about what you don't have. And I hope you were able to spend time with those you love.
Have a great day and week!
Love,
Kelly
Thursday, November 24, 2011
Happy Thanksgiving!
Hi and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I have so much to be thankful for. I have my relationship with God, my family, my friends, a job, a house, lots of animals that love me unconditionally, and my health. I feel so blessed! I have overcome cancer and am well on the mend.
I spent today cooking, cleaning and eating. I got testy a few times, but all in all it was a good day. I was able to stay on my feet and do way more than I have in over two months. It was a good test for me. Last week I rode Chunky and did well. It's almost like nothing has happened to me.
I met with my oncologist on Tuesday. She tried to talk me into the chemotheraphy but I declined. She said she is an oncologist and that is what she does, so she had to ask one more time. She did finally say she respected my decision. I told her about my mother's reactions to the chemotherapy and my reluctance to have a similar fate. I seem to take after my mother in many ways. She also wants me to see another oncologist that deals with pancreas screenings due to my maternal uncle having and dying from pancreatic cancer. This same oncologist is moving onto another position in California and a new doctor is being assigned to me. I have decided to wait to see what this new doctor thinks. It turns out that this new oncologist specializes in genetics. I am to see her for a cancer screening in February (now every 3 months since I guess I am an at risk patient). I want to concentrate on my reconstruction for now and get that completed before starting any new possible procedures. The screening for pancreatic cancer sounds a bit invasive and I think I've done enough invasive procedures for awhile. If I am being screened every three months, anything that shows up should be caught early enough. I am not worried. God has taken care of the cancer and is keeping me healthy. I do need to lose the rest of my weight (about 35 pounds), so I need to get back on my diet and work to continue to lose the rest of my weight like I had planned before all this cancer stuff started.
I had a dental check up yesterday and have another cavity to get filled. So next month I am back to the dentist for a filling. I think I have been to the dentist this year more than I had been in my entire life before this year. My teeth are in pretty good shape for someone who did not frequent the dentist for years. But, it seems, now that I'm going, more problems are showing up. This was the year for many dental and doctor appointments.
I don't take anything that the doctors tell me lightly. I think through each thing they tell me, do research, pray, then decide on my course of action. I don't always agree with the doctors. It is my body and I have to do with it what I think is right. Above all I pray about each and every decision and I read the Bible. This always helps me to focus. God always leads me to the right decision and I am getting much better and paying attention and doing what he wants me to do. I am not perfect and I do panic sometimes and worry - but then I remember I have God's Peace within me and I am alright again.
Many of my friends tell me how strong they think I am. I am not strong, not alone I'm not. I am strong because God is carrying me through all of this. My Faith in God to get me through this journey and the people He has loved into my path - that is what has gotten me through. If you know me really well - you know I am a worrier and I don't uaually handle stress well. But you will also have to admit that I am alot more calm and happy than I would have been a few years ago. I believe I am being used by God to show what His Mercy, Grace, Peace and Love can do for you. If it works for me, it will definitely work for you. You just have to invite Him into your heart. He gave us all free will - you have the right to choose. "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice" - Free Will, Rush
I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends and that you enjoyed the food and fellowship today. We are so blessed! It's nice to be able to give God thanks for what we have - to concentrate on what we have and not on what we don't.
Love to all! May God Bless your steps each and every day!
Kelly
I spent today cooking, cleaning and eating. I got testy a few times, but all in all it was a good day. I was able to stay on my feet and do way more than I have in over two months. It was a good test for me. Last week I rode Chunky and did well. It's almost like nothing has happened to me.
I met with my oncologist on Tuesday. She tried to talk me into the chemotheraphy but I declined. She said she is an oncologist and that is what she does, so she had to ask one more time. She did finally say she respected my decision. I told her about my mother's reactions to the chemotherapy and my reluctance to have a similar fate. I seem to take after my mother in many ways. She also wants me to see another oncologist that deals with pancreas screenings due to my maternal uncle having and dying from pancreatic cancer. This same oncologist is moving onto another position in California and a new doctor is being assigned to me. I have decided to wait to see what this new doctor thinks. It turns out that this new oncologist specializes in genetics. I am to see her for a cancer screening in February (now every 3 months since I guess I am an at risk patient). I want to concentrate on my reconstruction for now and get that completed before starting any new possible procedures. The screening for pancreatic cancer sounds a bit invasive and I think I've done enough invasive procedures for awhile. If I am being screened every three months, anything that shows up should be caught early enough. I am not worried. God has taken care of the cancer and is keeping me healthy. I do need to lose the rest of my weight (about 35 pounds), so I need to get back on my diet and work to continue to lose the rest of my weight like I had planned before all this cancer stuff started.
I had a dental check up yesterday and have another cavity to get filled. So next month I am back to the dentist for a filling. I think I have been to the dentist this year more than I had been in my entire life before this year. My teeth are in pretty good shape for someone who did not frequent the dentist for years. But, it seems, now that I'm going, more problems are showing up. This was the year for many dental and doctor appointments.
I don't take anything that the doctors tell me lightly. I think through each thing they tell me, do research, pray, then decide on my course of action. I don't always agree with the doctors. It is my body and I have to do with it what I think is right. Above all I pray about each and every decision and I read the Bible. This always helps me to focus. God always leads me to the right decision and I am getting much better and paying attention and doing what he wants me to do. I am not perfect and I do panic sometimes and worry - but then I remember I have God's Peace within me and I am alright again.
Many of my friends tell me how strong they think I am. I am not strong, not alone I'm not. I am strong because God is carrying me through all of this. My Faith in God to get me through this journey and the people He has loved into my path - that is what has gotten me through. If you know me really well - you know I am a worrier and I don't uaually handle stress well. But you will also have to admit that I am alot more calm and happy than I would have been a few years ago. I believe I am being used by God to show what His Mercy, Grace, Peace and Love can do for you. If it works for me, it will definitely work for you. You just have to invite Him into your heart. He gave us all free will - you have the right to choose. "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice" - Free Will, Rush
I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends and that you enjoyed the food and fellowship today. We are so blessed! It's nice to be able to give God thanks for what we have - to concentrate on what we have and not on what we don't.
Love to all! May God Bless your steps each and every day!
Kelly
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
First Fillup Complete!
Today was a really great day. I have started my true reconstruction. I went to see my plastic surgeon, along with my husband. The doctor injected 100 cc's of saline in my left breast expander, and 60 cc's in my right. I have extra skin on the right side, so if that doesn't fill well, it will probably be removed to help both sides match and look balanced.
The process was painless and quick. I still don't have a lot of feeling in the skin near the scar tissue, so putting the needles through the skin was painless. The doctor went very slowly and made sure I was comfortable. He started to put in about 150 cc's in the left side, but decided to take it down to 100 cc so as not to make me too uncomfortable. I only feel a pressure on my chest. I can now wear whatever bra I want and can use my arms normally again. I've already been lifting them over my head for over a week - but now I'm truly allowed! The only thing he doesn't want me to do is to sleep on my stomach. This is fine with me as I am having trouble even sleeping on my sides. The expanders are a little stiff and ungiving - so I feel them pressing through my skin - a little unnerving.
I cannot tell you how thankful I am to God for helping me through all this. He has put all the right people in my path. I really think this has to do with my relationship with Him. He is helping me to use this experience for good - to show others that a great attitude and strong Faith can work wonders. And even when things don't go perfectly and people (including yours truly) fail - He's there to put it all right again! I am so happy to be alive and to be back to my normal self again. I am even planning to take a short ride on my horse this weekend. I will take it slow and easy - but I really need to get back to normal.
I also need to honor God by taking care of His temple - my body. I have been doing well with getting myself healthy - except for this week. I'm suddenly always hungry and eating too much. I am going to slow back down and get back on my diet. I need to drop the rest of my weight - about 30 additional pounds. I also need to get my muscles toned again. I feel like all the muscle tone I had put on has all completely gone away and left nothing but flab behind. I also need to drink more water and get off all food with soy in it - soy is supposed to be like estrogen - and many believe that it can cause cancer for those susceptible to it. I need to eat lest pre-packaged foods and more natural ones.
Next week I visit the oncologist. I'll know more about future care and what I can do to help with my menapausal symptoms which, for the most part, are very tolerable. I'm still colder than usual, but not like I was. I'm not weepy anymore and my mental abilities are much more acute than they have been since before the surgery. I can think better and remember things again. Life is great!
More next week after my oncologist appointment. I'm skipping Thanksgiving week for my second fill-up appointment and putting it off until the following Tuesday. I want to take this reconstruction slow and steady.
Have a Blessed week and weekend. Remember: God rocks all the time. He never changes and He is there for you - no matter what you are going through! God is love - so don't worry - He's got your back - just believe!
Love ya!
Kelly
The process was painless and quick. I still don't have a lot of feeling in the skin near the scar tissue, so putting the needles through the skin was painless. The doctor went very slowly and made sure I was comfortable. He started to put in about 150 cc's in the left side, but decided to take it down to 100 cc so as not to make me too uncomfortable. I only feel a pressure on my chest. I can now wear whatever bra I want and can use my arms normally again. I've already been lifting them over my head for over a week - but now I'm truly allowed! The only thing he doesn't want me to do is to sleep on my stomach. This is fine with me as I am having trouble even sleeping on my sides. The expanders are a little stiff and ungiving - so I feel them pressing through my skin - a little unnerving.
I cannot tell you how thankful I am to God for helping me through all this. He has put all the right people in my path. I really think this has to do with my relationship with Him. He is helping me to use this experience for good - to show others that a great attitude and strong Faith can work wonders. And even when things don't go perfectly and people (including yours truly) fail - He's there to put it all right again! I am so happy to be alive and to be back to my normal self again. I am even planning to take a short ride on my horse this weekend. I will take it slow and easy - but I really need to get back to normal.
I also need to honor God by taking care of His temple - my body. I have been doing well with getting myself healthy - except for this week. I'm suddenly always hungry and eating too much. I am going to slow back down and get back on my diet. I need to drop the rest of my weight - about 30 additional pounds. I also need to get my muscles toned again. I feel like all the muscle tone I had put on has all completely gone away and left nothing but flab behind. I also need to drink more water and get off all food with soy in it - soy is supposed to be like estrogen - and many believe that it can cause cancer for those susceptible to it. I need to eat lest pre-packaged foods and more natural ones.
Next week I visit the oncologist. I'll know more about future care and what I can do to help with my menapausal symptoms which, for the most part, are very tolerable. I'm still colder than usual, but not like I was. I'm not weepy anymore and my mental abilities are much more acute than they have been since before the surgery. I can think better and remember things again. Life is great!
More next week after my oncologist appointment. I'm skipping Thanksgiving week for my second fill-up appointment and putting it off until the following Tuesday. I want to take this reconstruction slow and steady.
Have a Blessed week and weekend. Remember: God rocks all the time. He never changes and He is there for you - no matter what you are going through! God is love - so don't worry - He's got your back - just believe!
Love ya!
Kelly
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Reconstruction Starts This Wednesday
If anyone wants to communicate with me and this blog is not easy to add comments to - my email address is kellyconboy@yahoo.com
I had my lastest visit with the Plastic Surgeon on Friday - all stitches are removed and I am ready to start my first filling of my expanders this Wednesday. I am told that this should not be a painful process. I am not sure how long this part of the process will take. But once I am filled to my original size before surgery, I can then undergo the outpatient procedure of replacing my expanders with my new saline-based implants. I am looking forward to getting passed that point! My chest no longer feels like I have a board across it. But I am having some shooting pains and mostly soreness from the tight sports bras I have been wearing.
I started work a week ago. I started on Monday and have worked full days each day except Friday -which was Veteran's Day. Thank you to any Veteran's or members of our Armed Forces. I and my family are so greatful to you for all you do! You have helped to make our country the greatest in the world! May God bless you in all you do!
I did spend time with my horses this weekend. It was mostly to get their hooves worked on - but also to see them and interact. Thanks to my husband for holding them. Chunky did extremely well. Poor Spice was so tenderfooted - which is why I had the farrier put shoes on all her hooves. Her hooves are so soft and her back hooves have been causing her much pain in the last few weeks. I'm hoping having the shoes will help keep her feet in good condition. Thanks to Donna, her feet were in great shape for shoes!
I'll keep you all posted as to how things go on Wednesday. My next visits are plastic surgeon, oncologist and dentist. Thanks to God and all the prayers that chemotherapy is not a part of my treatment! I am so thankful for that. I do pray for all the women and men that have to endure it. And I pray for a cure that will help anyone facing cancer not to have to endure those treatments!
God has been keeping me encouraged during my daily Bible readings and notes and calls from friends and family. The weepys are pretty much gone and my hot and cold flashes are lessening by the day.
Have a great week! Love and God's Blessings to you All!
Kelly
I had my lastest visit with the Plastic Surgeon on Friday - all stitches are removed and I am ready to start my first filling of my expanders this Wednesday. I am told that this should not be a painful process. I am not sure how long this part of the process will take. But once I am filled to my original size before surgery, I can then undergo the outpatient procedure of replacing my expanders with my new saline-based implants. I am looking forward to getting passed that point! My chest no longer feels like I have a board across it. But I am having some shooting pains and mostly soreness from the tight sports bras I have been wearing.
I started work a week ago. I started on Monday and have worked full days each day except Friday -which was Veteran's Day. Thank you to any Veteran's or members of our Armed Forces. I and my family are so greatful to you for all you do! You have helped to make our country the greatest in the world! May God bless you in all you do!
I did spend time with my horses this weekend. It was mostly to get their hooves worked on - but also to see them and interact. Thanks to my husband for holding them. Chunky did extremely well. Poor Spice was so tenderfooted - which is why I had the farrier put shoes on all her hooves. Her hooves are so soft and her back hooves have been causing her much pain in the last few weeks. I'm hoping having the shoes will help keep her feet in good condition. Thanks to Donna, her feet were in great shape for shoes!
I'll keep you all posted as to how things go on Wednesday. My next visits are plastic surgeon, oncologist and dentist. Thanks to God and all the prayers that chemotherapy is not a part of my treatment! I am so thankful for that. I do pray for all the women and men that have to endure it. And I pray for a cure that will help anyone facing cancer not to have to endure those treatments!
God has been keeping me encouraged during my daily Bible readings and notes and calls from friends and family. The weepys are pretty much gone and my hot and cold flashes are lessening by the day.
Have a great week! Love and God's Blessings to you All!
Kelly
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Today's Visit with the Oncologist
Well, I went to the Oncologist today. I wasn't too happy with her recommendation - 4 treatments of chemotherapy for breast cancer every three weeks. She told me that I am border-line for her recommending me for this treatment. My tumor was smaller than 1 centimeter and she said she usually doesn't recommend it for a tumor less than one centimeter and with no cancer showing up in breast during surgery or lymph nodes, but due to her not being completely sure of the size based on the lab trying to piece the pieces of the tumor from the needle biopsy back together and not being able to get a definitive size, she recommends the chemo. The statistics between me taking the treatments and not are about 9% difference. Basically, if I decide to go with the treatments, I am 9% less likely to develop another type of cancer such as pancreatic or peritoneal. This is not a big difference in my mind, so I am 99.99% sure at this point that I am opting to say no to this treatment. In fact I consider this over-kill. The side-effects of chemo far outweigh the benefits in my mind. Other things like - there is a very small chance that the chemotherapy could cause me to get leukemia; I would have to put off reconstruction treatment until well after I am over the chemotherapy; my immune system will suffer; I will lose all my hair (temporarily I am told) - all this for a 9% smaller chance of a cancer recurrence. I will still have to be monitored for the rest of my life either way by taking cancer screenings - so that isn't a benefit. I just have a bad feeling about the chemo and what it did to my mother (chemo-therapy killed my mother when she had ovarian cancer). I also don't think my body can take much more. I am fine with my doctors removing tissue that could be impacted but I am not so sure about drugs that cannot guarantee me much of a difference and that cause so many side effects. The chances of me having a recurrence are very low now based on the surgeries I just had. So again, I say, overkill.
I had a very emotional conversation with God today about this chemotherapy. I told him how much I miss my parents and pets I have lost over the years. I told him I don't want to go through this chemotherapy, that I have done all that I think that I can bear. But I also told him if he wants me to go through with it that I will. And I ended my prayer by asking God for a sign if my request was the right choice (not having the chemotherapy). About 30 minutes later my daughter arrived home from school. She went on a search for a video of Nemo that we have. While going through our VHS tapes, she found some old unlabeled tapes. She put one into the VCR and then called me to the room. On the TV screen was a video scene from 1995, when my son (now 16) was about 8 months old, in my parents living room on Christmas morning. And in the room were my Mom and Dad (now deceased), front and center - just as I remember them - the years between then and now melting away. Then a few scenes later came a scene with my two dogs Zeus and Ulf, now deceased. These were the people and pets that I mentioned in my prayer to God shortly before watching this old family video. This was my sign from God that I have already done what He has asked of me and that I can move on without the chemotherapy. It was plain to me at that moment. Now I am 100% sure that I am not having the Chemotherapy treatments - God said so.
Other than that I am feeling a bit better today. We went to Victoria's Secrets after the appointment and got shaping inserts for my bra so I won't look so awfully flat until the reconstruction is completed. I am having trouble with hot flashes, and, believe it or not, cold flashes where I cannot get warm. I am hoping this part passes me - I don't like to be cold like that. I like Winter cold - but not this type where I can't get warm enough no matter how many blankets I put over me. I can handle the hot flashes - they don't last too long and I can usually get up and move around and they lessen. I am also taking Black Cohosh. The Oncologist said she would help me find something to lesson my menopausal symptoms since I cannot take hormone treatments.
I am off the narcotic pain meds as of Friday. Saturday was the first day without them. What a terrible weekend. I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest the whole time and I couldn't do much more than just lay around, sleep and watch TV. I got to take my first shower in weeks on Saturday morning - so that day started out well - but ended in pain. We also got 8 inches of snow and the electricity went out for 3 hours. So I was cold, grumpy, in pain, tired and weepy. Not my finest hour. And on top of that I had the worst constipation (sorry) I have ever had in my entire life - caused by the narcotics - a great reason to get off of them quick. That and I have been in such a groggy state since I returned home that I can't remember much and forget words. I am told that not only the narcotics caused this but also the eight hours worth of anesthesia I was under during the surgery.
I will be honest - I did not FEEL God with me during this weekend. I didn't blame him or anything like that. I just kept focusing on myself and how I was feeling. I finally started praying again and reading Bible verses - which I really think is helping give me the strength to get on with my healing and take control of my health and future.
My husband has been great the last few weeks and has done everything I've asked of him and then some. I couldn't have done nearly as well without him. He has bathed me, dressed me, done the house work, taken care of the kids, taken care of the pets, encouraged me, held me when I'm weepy, and let me know he still finds me sexy. What more could a woman ask for in her man? God surely has blessed me with a great husband. I'm just sorry it took this journey for me to see it.
I see the plastic surgeon on Friday. I hope to find out when reconstructions starts. In two weeks I see the Oncologist and will let her know my decision to pass on chemotherapy. She will discuss with me how and when I will go through cancer screenings so that I can be monitored and hopefully catch any cancer that may come along, if any.. But as far as I am concerned, I am cancer free and will stay that way until I die an old lady. If it hits me then, I will have chemotherapy if it is warranted. I am now going to go on with my life as I had originally planned. I will go back on my diet and get rid of the rest of my weight (about 40 pounds), get myself healthy and in shape, ride my horses, play with and love on my kids, pay more attention to my husband, and live my life for the Lord. :-)
May God Bless You in all you do!
TTFN,
Kelly
Friday, October 28, 2011
Praise God - Drainage Tubes Removed!
My last two drainage tubes were removed today. I am free of them! They did serve their purpose in helping me to heal. Isn't that what our life in Christ is like? We are free through the healing that Jesus gives us. This journey is bringing me through a great growing and healing of my Spirit.
Tomorrow I get to take my first shower since the 7th of October. I will be able to wash myself clean as a free woman! Clean from the evil cancer that brought me to this battle and full of the Love and Life given to me by Christ who brought me through the battle. This is truly a day to celebrate!
I have a few more upcoming appointments. I will keep posting blogs until all reconstructive procedures are completed. And I will know for sure on Tuesday if the oncologist needs me to have any other treatments to guard against further bouts of cancer in other areas of my body.
Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers!
With Love in Him,
Kelly
Tomorrow I get to take my first shower since the 7th of October. I will be able to wash myself clean as a free woman! Clean from the evil cancer that brought me to this battle and full of the Love and Life given to me by Christ who brought me through the battle. This is truly a day to celebrate!
I have a few more upcoming appointments. I will keep posting blogs until all reconstructive procedures are completed. And I will know for sure on Tuesday if the oncologist needs me to have any other treatments to guard against further bouts of cancer in other areas of my body.
Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers!
With Love in Him,
Kelly
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Latest Doctor Visits
I went to my plastic surgeon yesterday regarding my reconstruction. For the most part I am healing well and should begin my expansion within the next two weeks. Had one slight set-back - part of skin on left breast incision died so had to have dead skin removed and are re-stitched yesterday. The procedure was done in the doctor's office with my husband present. I didn't feel any of it as I am still numb in the area of the incisions. I was a little nervous, but all went well. I have an appointment on Friday to see how well the new incision is doing and to have the final two drainage tubes removed - finally! I'm still on the pain meds and taking another round of antibiotics. I'm hoping after Friday I can get off the pain meds so that I can get rid of the grogginess.
For the most part I am feeling well and able to get around with no problems. I also met with my gynecologist yesterday and she removed one stitch that didn't go away on its own - no pain there either. She showed me pictures of how well everything looked during the surgery. I have never seen such neat sutures (internal ones) - and they were done lapriscopically. I had read horror stories from patients that went through this procedure. My procedure went off without a hitch - no pain and no complications at all. This doctor is really talented - I wish my cross stitch and hand sewing looked as neat. I am able to walk up and down stairs and take walks outdoors without getting winded.
I have an appointment next week with oncologist who will let me know if I need any additional treatments. My general surgeon thinks I shouldn't need any treatments since my lymph nodes were clear, but wants me to see the oncologist to make sure.
Thanks for all the kind words, thoughts and prayers. Knowing I have such great support has truly helped me! God has truly blessed me in many ways. I'm starting to look at this cancer battle as more of a blessing than a curse. I'm so glad that the cancer was killed off. I'm also not sorry that it happened to me. It woke me up to this life and how many people truly care for me. It also is helping me to understand that I can be there for others and don't need to wait for something bad to happen to step in and help. I keep stating this over and over, but it is so true - if it weren't for God, I would have not made it through this journey well. The old me would have felt sorry for herself and blamed it all on God and life's circumstances. I would have been a royal pain in the butt to everyone around me and would have basically given up. And all you who have shown your caring side have helped me more than words can express. Thanks for your sharing yourselves with me!
Have a blessed day. More to come after Friday's appointment.
TTFN,
Kelly
Friday, October 21, 2011
Outcome from Plastic Surgeon Appointment
Yesterday I met with my plastic surgeon. The two small drainage tubes were removed. The removal did not hurt at all. And all the surgical tape was removed - again no pain. When I try to remove any tape from the wounds or just plain skin, it hurts. I asked the nurse why when they do it there is no pain but hurts when I do - nurse said it is probably because I am anticipating pain when I am removing tape and not even looking at the wound site when they are pulling and removing the tape. In other words, mind over matter.
Some possible bad news: in middle of my incision on left breast the tissue is not looking quite right so the doctor had the nurse clean everything and then cover all the incisions with surgical tape except the questionable skin. She covered the bad spot with a thin layer of Neosporin and then a non stick piece of gauze to keep the wrap from touching the wound. I have an appointment on Monday to re-check this area to see if the doctor needs to remove that small area of skin and re-stitch. There is plenty of skin to work with and the procedure can be done in the office. I don't have much feeling in either breast (common with this surgery), so wouldn't be painful. He kept the other two tubes in because I am still putting out a little bit of fluids. The large tube on the right side was really hurting me on Wednesday night (hurt so bad I was crying) - mostly due to me trying to wean off of the pain killers - too soon to do that. I told the doctor about the pain and he said he could remove the stitch but that the tube could come out and cause other problems. So we figured out a way to keep the pain at bay by taping the tube
so that it doesn't move around the site where the tube is attached - that was an immediate improvement for me as the pain completely stopped. I like this doctor and his nurse - they spend as much time as I need working out any issues. And they both have a very delicate touch.
Monday I visit the gynecologist that removed the ovaries to make sure all is healing well. So far I have no pain at all and can pull myself up by my abdomen muscles when I need to sit up in bed, etc. I have not tried to climb stairs yet, so will probably wait until my visit with her to make sure it's okay to climb stairs. I doubt it will be an issue but don't want to push myself too hard and reverse my recovery in any way. God is teaching me patience in all this.
Tuesday I meet with the oncologist. Since I had triple negative breast cancer (hormones not involved), need to find out if she thinks I need any other treatments besides the surgery. And I want to know what I can and cannot eat and what meds I cannot take or if I need chemotherapy (not sure what that would do) and how I would be tested over the years to make sure I don't get cancer in other parts of my body. The mastectomy surgeon stated that he didn't think radiation would be necessary since the cancer never
made it to the lymph nodes.
I received a copy of my pre-op blood test results yesterday (used by the surgeons to see if there were any underlying medical conditions in addition to the cancer). My blood tests showed low triglycerides, borderline high cholesterol (LDL), and HDL was a little low (I may be getting those two
terms reversed - still learning). Glucose was borderline also - but not enough to set off alarm bells. All in all I'm pretty darn healthy which is probably why I am healing so well and am not having side effects (minus soreness around the one drain tube).
There are many things I'm waiting on - but I am not overly concerned about any of it. God got me through so much to date - I fully trust that all will work out. I have His Peace.
I didn't update my blog last night because I was exhausted. Pain meds make me really sleepy to the point where I'll be typing away on my laptop and fall asleep as I'm typing. Can't wait to be off these meds. Going to try for a short walk outside with hubby this evening. I feel like getting up and cleaning and walking around the house during the day and sometimes in the middle of the night. But this constant sleepiness is bothersome. I hope that it is just the meds and not a combination of meds and menopause!
Kids had an annual check-up with their pediatrician this afternoon - Jim took them. They both got their tetanus shots and flu mist vaccines. JJ got blood work done so had to have a blood withdrawal. Fortunately for everyone involved, Jessica did not have to have blood withdrawn. According to her, Jessica does not handle needles well. JJ, however, never has a problem when visiting the doctor.
My sister, Kathi, came over this afternoon and helped me to redress my wound. I will have to do this twice per day until I see the Dr. on Monday. She brought me some wound supplies such as non-stick gauze and wound supplies for my horse, Spice. We'll try to get those items up to the farm tomorrow afternoon. I hope we get to go - I really want to see my horses and Rocky our goat.
God is still blessing me through this journey. I still feel His Peace and gentle guidance. My mood seems to be pretty steady and pleasant most of the time and my health seems to be steadily improving.
Have a blessed weekend! Love to All - Kelly
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Computer Fun Day!
I spent most of my day today fighting with my husband's laptop and my daughter's iPOD. I would much rather have read a book or just watched TV and napped, but I'm the "techie" in the family, so when the computers get to a point of no return, I'm the problem solver - and sometimes the solutions is get rid of the computer.
I've been getting lots of lovely surprises from folks in different forms since my journey began. I've received lovely flowers, baskets, books, a big 4 layer chocolate cake, get well and encouragement cards, and many emails and text messages - all wishing me a speedy recovery and nice thoughts and prayers. This outpouring of affection, love and friendship has been heartwarmingly overwhelming and very well received. Offering encouragement, love and help to one going through a journey like mine means more then anyone realizes. I do need to have a base Faith and good attitude, but I also need the love of God and words from others to help keep that base in place. I just hope that I can be there in the same way for others when they are in need. Just to restate - each and every kind word, thought, prayer, gift has helped in my healing and are all true blessings. God loves it when we hold each other up. Please know you have all helped me more than I can ever say.
Today I was in a little more pain than I have been. My pain killers didn't seem to help much. I had slept great the night before, so not sure if I did too much yesterday and today and just didn't pay attention or it was just an off day. All wounds appear to be healing fine. No new bruising or bleeding (besides what comes out of drainage tubes). Tomorrow I see the plastic surgeon and am hoping to lose all of the tubes. If I only lose 2, I am okay. I just don't enjoy carrying these weird bags around my waist. I think the tubes being stitched in my wounds are what hurt the most. Part of my breasts are completely numb at the moment and was told this is normal. The skin looks normal minus the two lovely scars across the front of each breast with surgical tape over that. I have to say, though, that the scarring doesn't look that bad. I can tell that over time the scars will be very minimal. The surgeon did a great job. So, if he says leave in the tubes, I will. The tubes are in to keep down swelling. I have to believe that the swelling would be far more painful.
Say a prayer for our horse, Spice. She has a wound in her foot that doesn't seem to be healing. The vet is to come out tomorrow afternoon to give her a checkup and see what can be done to treat the wound effectively. I just hope and pray she doesn't end up permanently lame. I haven't exercised her enough this year, so she is also not in as good a shape as she should be. She has a bit of a hay belly, so may need to put her on a diet. Will see what the vet says tomorrow. We'll probably have to wrap her foot and keep it dry until she heals. I'll have to find a way to get Jessica up there to visit with and groom Spice so she knows we still love her.
More tomorrow on how the doctor's appointment went.
Have a blessed day tomorrow!
TTFN - Kelly
I've been getting lots of lovely surprises from folks in different forms since my journey began. I've received lovely flowers, baskets, books, a big 4 layer chocolate cake, get well and encouragement cards, and many emails and text messages - all wishing me a speedy recovery and nice thoughts and prayers. This outpouring of affection, love and friendship has been heartwarmingly overwhelming and very well received. Offering encouragement, love and help to one going through a journey like mine means more then anyone realizes. I do need to have a base Faith and good attitude, but I also need the love of God and words from others to help keep that base in place. I just hope that I can be there in the same way for others when they are in need. Just to restate - each and every kind word, thought, prayer, gift has helped in my healing and are all true blessings. God loves it when we hold each other up. Please know you have all helped me more than I can ever say.
Today I was in a little more pain than I have been. My pain killers didn't seem to help much. I had slept great the night before, so not sure if I did too much yesterday and today and just didn't pay attention or it was just an off day. All wounds appear to be healing fine. No new bruising or bleeding (besides what comes out of drainage tubes). Tomorrow I see the plastic surgeon and am hoping to lose all of the tubes. If I only lose 2, I am okay. I just don't enjoy carrying these weird bags around my waist. I think the tubes being stitched in my wounds are what hurt the most. Part of my breasts are completely numb at the moment and was told this is normal. The skin looks normal minus the two lovely scars across the front of each breast with surgical tape over that. I have to say, though, that the scarring doesn't look that bad. I can tell that over time the scars will be very minimal. The surgeon did a great job. So, if he says leave in the tubes, I will. The tubes are in to keep down swelling. I have to believe that the swelling would be far more painful.
Say a prayer for our horse, Spice. She has a wound in her foot that doesn't seem to be healing. The vet is to come out tomorrow afternoon to give her a checkup and see what can be done to treat the wound effectively. I just hope and pray she doesn't end up permanently lame. I haven't exercised her enough this year, so she is also not in as good a shape as she should be. She has a bit of a hay belly, so may need to put her on a diet. Will see what the vet says tomorrow. We'll probably have to wrap her foot and keep it dry until she heals. I'll have to find a way to get Jessica up there to visit with and groom Spice so she knows we still love her.
More tomorrow on how the doctor's appointment went.
Have a blessed day tomorrow!
TTFN - Kelly
Monday, October 17, 2011
Another day of recovery
Today is Monday, October 17th - 10 days since my surgery. I still have my drain tubes and am still looking forward to their removal this Thursday.
I didn't have a good night last night - side effect of pain meds and kicking in of prune juice and many laxatives. Much better today, but slept through most of it in the living room recliner. Whatever was playing on the TV did not get much of my attention. In fact, I got next to nothing done - just healing - which I am sure is working my poor body hard. I'm sure it was glad that I decided to listen to it and just rest.
My other problem is that I need the pain meds a bit longer than I thought and I'm almost out so I've been taking lower doses to make them last until sometime tomorrow. I'm also doubling up on Advil to keep the pain down. I am very surprised that Giant Eagle ran out of the type of medicine I am using - but it's not the first time. All so we can get fuel perks. Sunny side of this is - I'm learning to get by with out so much pain medication and keeping the constipation at bay.
You never really know how independent you truly are until you have to rely on others. You feel like you should be able to do everything and who are you to ask for help. That's the devil puling at my pride and trying to make me feel unworthy of the help of others. I am overwhelmed at the outpouring of offers of help and support and prayers. I am learning to accept it all. It definitely helps me to keep a positive attitude!
I want to let anyone reading this blog to know I have no problems sharing any part of my journey. I am keeping the full names of people to protect their privacy. But if you want to know the micro-details and aren't too squemish, I have plenty to share.
I know I shared my Cancer horse ride on this blog but have not yet talked about the local Frederick walk/run for Breast Cancer that a friend of mine, Vicky, and some of her friends walked/ran in my name. I was so touched by this. She even had t-shirts made for the occasion with my name printed on the backs. One says "Save the TATAs" for Kelly Conboy and the other says "Fight like a girl" Like Kelly Conboy - awesome! I heard the ladies ran their butts off. I am so thankful and the run/walk raised lots of money for the fight in my local community.
I've been given some really great books about dealing with cancer and how it affects are bodies, minds, and spirits. I am learning so much from this experience. I have especially learned that I am more important to many people than I ever thought. I am so blessed that I get to hear about how people care now instead of after I am gone (which is a very long time from now). Not many people are that blessed.
Romans 8:28 is my favorite verse. And it has proven so true throughout my like and this particular journey - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I am seeing His love pour out to me from so many directions. And this cancer, which has been kicked to the curb, has lead me through a wonderful place - a place of Love and Friendship!
Don't take any day forgranted!
Love ya - Kelly
I didn't have a good night last night - side effect of pain meds and kicking in of prune juice and many laxatives. Much better today, but slept through most of it in the living room recliner. Whatever was playing on the TV did not get much of my attention. In fact, I got next to nothing done - just healing - which I am sure is working my poor body hard. I'm sure it was glad that I decided to listen to it and just rest.
My other problem is that I need the pain meds a bit longer than I thought and I'm almost out so I've been taking lower doses to make them last until sometime tomorrow. I'm also doubling up on Advil to keep the pain down. I am very surprised that Giant Eagle ran out of the type of medicine I am using - but it's not the first time. All so we can get fuel perks. Sunny side of this is - I'm learning to get by with out so much pain medication and keeping the constipation at bay.
You never really know how independent you truly are until you have to rely on others. You feel like you should be able to do everything and who are you to ask for help. That's the devil puling at my pride and trying to make me feel unworthy of the help of others. I am overwhelmed at the outpouring of offers of help and support and prayers. I am learning to accept it all. It definitely helps me to keep a positive attitude!
I want to let anyone reading this blog to know I have no problems sharing any part of my journey. I am keeping the full names of people to protect their privacy. But if you want to know the micro-details and aren't too squemish, I have plenty to share.
I know I shared my Cancer horse ride on this blog but have not yet talked about the local Frederick walk/run for Breast Cancer that a friend of mine, Vicky, and some of her friends walked/ran in my name. I was so touched by this. She even had t-shirts made for the occasion with my name printed on the backs. One says "Save the TATAs" for Kelly Conboy and the other says "Fight like a girl" Like Kelly Conboy - awesome! I heard the ladies ran their butts off. I am so thankful and the run/walk raised lots of money for the fight in my local community.
I've been given some really great books about dealing with cancer and how it affects are bodies, minds, and spirits. I am learning so much from this experience. I have especially learned that I am more important to many people than I ever thought. I am so blessed that I get to hear about how people care now instead of after I am gone (which is a very long time from now). Not many people are that blessed.
Romans 8:28 is my favorite verse. And it has proven so true throughout my like and this particular journey - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I am seeing His love pour out to me from so many directions. And this cancer, which has been kicked to the curb, has lead me through a wonderful place - a place of Love and Friendship!
Don't take any day forgranted!
Love ya - Kelly
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Post-Operative Doctor Visits
It is the first Thursday following surgery - almost a week now. My brain is in such a fog that the only way I truly know what time of day it is is due to the medicine logs I keep - I have to know what meds I took when so I don't take too much. Believe me, if I forget to take my pain meds - I feel it.
My first post-op doctor's visit was Wednesday with the plastic surgeon. He and the nurse removed my bandages and checked my drains and incisions. I had a blister from one of the bandages rubbing on some exposed skin which Kathi had treated the day before. The opening in the skin on the right breast was extremely painful due to irritation in skin surrounding opening but is not infected. I had also not taken enough pain killer before the appointment. I was trying to wean myself off the pain meds but the doctor told me it is too soon. I can start weaning once the tubes are removed. I also was told I can now take advil. Once I took that, the pain decreased significantly.
After completing the examination, the doctor said that the wounds are healing very nicely but that he wanted to keep the drain tubes in another week. He was talking about possibly removing them at our next appt. The pain pump, which pumped a numbing medicine into my chest, was removed. I am happy to not have to carry the pump around anymore. I really can't tell that I am no longer using it except that I don't have the weight of it hanging around my neck.
Today I met with the mastectomy surgeon. He let me know that their was abolutely no cancer in the left breast nor any of the lymph nodes. A second biopsy was done from a frozen section of lymph nodes and that test came back negative. I am meeting with the oncologist in two weeks to determine what if any further treatments will be needed. It will definitely not be radiation due to having nothing to radiate. He thinks that we got this one truly early. He felt really good about the decisions we made and at the fantastic outcome. I asked what else besides the nipple areas and main breast were removed - he said that the tissue under the skin up to the collar bones was removed (looks like I am a lot thinner/less fatty around area where my necklace falls) and the sides of my breasts (also much less fat there). I thanked him for his efforts which were greatly instrumental in saving my life and thanked the administrative technician that did all the hard work of scheduling the surgeries, the doctors, and the health insurance. I want to find the mammogram tech that found the tumor initially. God inserted all these wonderful people into my life's path and into my cancer journey for a reason. They need to know how important they are in all of this, that they gave of themselves for another human being. These doctors, their staff members, and the radiology staff have all been truly a blessing to me. You can't help but see that this has God's love prints all over it!
My sister, Kathi, is helping me over the next few days with cleaning and dressing my breast wounds. My breasts, as they undergo reconstruction, are a bit difficult to look at - but no where nearly as bad as I thought they would look. There are two main incisions across where the nipple was. They were sown with stitches and covered with surgical tape. That area is mostly numb. The skin between my breasts was not removed, but it is also numb - that may be due to the pain pump's tube coming out of that area. The expanders under the skin and pectoral muscles causes a lot of pressure so I have to move around a bit to keep the feeling of pressure down.
I am having some problems with the pain meds. I don't like how they make me feel. I have trouble with time perception. Sometimes I think that 2 minutes passed and it's been an hour or an hour has passed and it feels like a few minutes. I also see dellusions - like someone I am thinking about in my mind is standing off to my side and when I look they aren't there. I fall asleep at the drop of a hat and start daydreaming when I am still partly awake. I can't always see straight - like my eyes can't stay focused, which gets annoying. I get hot flashes and break out in a sweat (this is probably also due to the fact that I have gone immediately into menopause). I have also been unable to go to the bathroom (#2) until yesterday and had to use a suppository. Another side affect. I am greatful for the pain relief they provide, but am looking forward to just using Advil and then nothing at all.
I have been really sleeping alot (mostly small catnaps) since I've been home, so I haven't been as diligent as I wanted to be with this blog. I will make every effort to keep this blog up, just wanted to explain why I may skip a day here or there. This surgery has taken more of a toll on me than I thought it would. And asking for help has been part of that struggle. I am getting better at asking - but am not all the way there yet.
Kathi will be helping me out through Saturday evening then my mother-in-law, Sally, will be coming to stay for a bit to help out with the kids and the house. My house is pretty cluttered at the moment. I get up throughout the day and will put things away (as long as they don't weigh more than 5 pounds and I don't have to stoop too low or raise my arms over my head). When I start to feel pressure, I know it's time to stop.
I spend some of my day reading yahoo emails on my Android phone and the rest either watching TV or sleeping. I try reading my Bible or another book, but my eyes start to cross and I get too sleepy. So I pray and take a nap.
I know how I feel will improve - I just am impatient with myself. I am healing quickly and have a light at the end of my tunnel - the healing and His light!
Blessings to All - Kelly
My first post-op doctor's visit was Wednesday with the plastic surgeon. He and the nurse removed my bandages and checked my drains and incisions. I had a blister from one of the bandages rubbing on some exposed skin which Kathi had treated the day before. The opening in the skin on the right breast was extremely painful due to irritation in skin surrounding opening but is not infected. I had also not taken enough pain killer before the appointment. I was trying to wean myself off the pain meds but the doctor told me it is too soon. I can start weaning once the tubes are removed. I also was told I can now take advil. Once I took that, the pain decreased significantly.
After completing the examination, the doctor said that the wounds are healing very nicely but that he wanted to keep the drain tubes in another week. He was talking about possibly removing them at our next appt. The pain pump, which pumped a numbing medicine into my chest, was removed. I am happy to not have to carry the pump around anymore. I really can't tell that I am no longer using it except that I don't have the weight of it hanging around my neck.
Today I met with the mastectomy surgeon. He let me know that their was abolutely no cancer in the left breast nor any of the lymph nodes. A second biopsy was done from a frozen section of lymph nodes and that test came back negative. I am meeting with the oncologist in two weeks to determine what if any further treatments will be needed. It will definitely not be radiation due to having nothing to radiate. He thinks that we got this one truly early. He felt really good about the decisions we made and at the fantastic outcome. I asked what else besides the nipple areas and main breast were removed - he said that the tissue under the skin up to the collar bones was removed (looks like I am a lot thinner/less fatty around area where my necklace falls) and the sides of my breasts (also much less fat there). I thanked him for his efforts which were greatly instrumental in saving my life and thanked the administrative technician that did all the hard work of scheduling the surgeries, the doctors, and the health insurance. I want to find the mammogram tech that found the tumor initially. God inserted all these wonderful people into my life's path and into my cancer journey for a reason. They need to know how important they are in all of this, that they gave of themselves for another human being. These doctors, their staff members, and the radiology staff have all been truly a blessing to me. You can't help but see that this has God's love prints all over it!
My sister, Kathi, is helping me over the next few days with cleaning and dressing my breast wounds. My breasts, as they undergo reconstruction, are a bit difficult to look at - but no where nearly as bad as I thought they would look. There are two main incisions across where the nipple was. They were sown with stitches and covered with surgical tape. That area is mostly numb. The skin between my breasts was not removed, but it is also numb - that may be due to the pain pump's tube coming out of that area. The expanders under the skin and pectoral muscles causes a lot of pressure so I have to move around a bit to keep the feeling of pressure down.
I am having some problems with the pain meds. I don't like how they make me feel. I have trouble with time perception. Sometimes I think that 2 minutes passed and it's been an hour or an hour has passed and it feels like a few minutes. I also see dellusions - like someone I am thinking about in my mind is standing off to my side and when I look they aren't there. I fall asleep at the drop of a hat and start daydreaming when I am still partly awake. I can't always see straight - like my eyes can't stay focused, which gets annoying. I get hot flashes and break out in a sweat (this is probably also due to the fact that I have gone immediately into menopause). I have also been unable to go to the bathroom (#2) until yesterday and had to use a suppository. Another side affect. I am greatful for the pain relief they provide, but am looking forward to just using Advil and then nothing at all.
I have been really sleeping alot (mostly small catnaps) since I've been home, so I haven't been as diligent as I wanted to be with this blog. I will make every effort to keep this blog up, just wanted to explain why I may skip a day here or there. This surgery has taken more of a toll on me than I thought it would. And asking for help has been part of that struggle. I am getting better at asking - but am not all the way there yet.
Kathi will be helping me out through Saturday evening then my mother-in-law, Sally, will be coming to stay for a bit to help out with the kids and the house. My house is pretty cluttered at the moment. I get up throughout the day and will put things away (as long as they don't weigh more than 5 pounds and I don't have to stoop too low or raise my arms over my head). When I start to feel pressure, I know it's time to stop.
I spend some of my day reading yahoo emails on my Android phone and the rest either watching TV or sleeping. I try reading my Bible or another book, but my eyes start to cross and I get too sleepy. So I pray and take a nap.
I know how I feel will improve - I just am impatient with myself. I am healing quickly and have a light at the end of my tunnel - the healing and His light!
Blessings to All - Kelly
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