My last two drainage tubes were removed today. I am free of them! They did serve their purpose in helping me to heal. Isn't that what our life in Christ is like? We are free through the healing that Jesus gives us. This journey is bringing me through a great growing and healing of my Spirit.
Tomorrow I get to take my first shower since the 7th of October. I will be able to wash myself clean as a free woman! Clean from the evil cancer that brought me to this battle and full of the Love and Life given to me by Christ who brought me through the battle. This is truly a day to celebrate!
I have a few more upcoming appointments. I will keep posting blogs until all reconstructive procedures are completed. And I will know for sure on Tuesday if the oncologist needs me to have any other treatments to guard against further bouts of cancer in other areas of my body.
Thanks again for all the thoughts and prayers!
With Love in Him,
Kelly
Friday, October 28, 2011
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Latest Doctor Visits
I went to my plastic surgeon yesterday regarding my reconstruction. For the most part I am healing well and should begin my expansion within the next two weeks. Had one slight set-back - part of skin on left breast incision died so had to have dead skin removed and are re-stitched yesterday. The procedure was done in the doctor's office with my husband present. I didn't feel any of it as I am still numb in the area of the incisions. I was a little nervous, but all went well. I have an appointment on Friday to see how well the new incision is doing and to have the final two drainage tubes removed - finally! I'm still on the pain meds and taking another round of antibiotics. I'm hoping after Friday I can get off the pain meds so that I can get rid of the grogginess.
For the most part I am feeling well and able to get around with no problems. I also met with my gynecologist yesterday and she removed one stitch that didn't go away on its own - no pain there either. She showed me pictures of how well everything looked during the surgery. I have never seen such neat sutures (internal ones) - and they were done lapriscopically. I had read horror stories from patients that went through this procedure. My procedure went off without a hitch - no pain and no complications at all. This doctor is really talented - I wish my cross stitch and hand sewing looked as neat. I am able to walk up and down stairs and take walks outdoors without getting winded.
I have an appointment next week with oncologist who will let me know if I need any additional treatments. My general surgeon thinks I shouldn't need any treatments since my lymph nodes were clear, but wants me to see the oncologist to make sure.
Thanks for all the kind words, thoughts and prayers. Knowing I have such great support has truly helped me! God has truly blessed me in many ways. I'm starting to look at this cancer battle as more of a blessing than a curse. I'm so glad that the cancer was killed off. I'm also not sorry that it happened to me. It woke me up to this life and how many people truly care for me. It also is helping me to understand that I can be there for others and don't need to wait for something bad to happen to step in and help. I keep stating this over and over, but it is so true - if it weren't for God, I would have not made it through this journey well. The old me would have felt sorry for herself and blamed it all on God and life's circumstances. I would have been a royal pain in the butt to everyone around me and would have basically given up. And all you who have shown your caring side have helped me more than words can express. Thanks for your sharing yourselves with me!
Have a blessed day. More to come after Friday's appointment.
TTFN,
Kelly
Friday, October 21, 2011
Outcome from Plastic Surgeon Appointment
Yesterday I met with my plastic surgeon. The two small drainage tubes were removed. The removal did not hurt at all. And all the surgical tape was removed - again no pain. When I try to remove any tape from the wounds or just plain skin, it hurts. I asked the nurse why when they do it there is no pain but hurts when I do - nurse said it is probably because I am anticipating pain when I am removing tape and not even looking at the wound site when they are pulling and removing the tape. In other words, mind over matter.
Some possible bad news: in middle of my incision on left breast the tissue is not looking quite right so the doctor had the nurse clean everything and then cover all the incisions with surgical tape except the questionable skin. She covered the bad spot with a thin layer of Neosporin and then a non stick piece of gauze to keep the wrap from touching the wound. I have an appointment on Monday to re-check this area to see if the doctor needs to remove that small area of skin and re-stitch. There is plenty of skin to work with and the procedure can be done in the office. I don't have much feeling in either breast (common with this surgery), so wouldn't be painful. He kept the other two tubes in because I am still putting out a little bit of fluids. The large tube on the right side was really hurting me on Wednesday night (hurt so bad I was crying) - mostly due to me trying to wean off of the pain killers - too soon to do that. I told the doctor about the pain and he said he could remove the stitch but that the tube could come out and cause other problems. So we figured out a way to keep the pain at bay by taping the tube
so that it doesn't move around the site where the tube is attached - that was an immediate improvement for me as the pain completely stopped. I like this doctor and his nurse - they spend as much time as I need working out any issues. And they both have a very delicate touch.
Monday I visit the gynecologist that removed the ovaries to make sure all is healing well. So far I have no pain at all and can pull myself up by my abdomen muscles when I need to sit up in bed, etc. I have not tried to climb stairs yet, so will probably wait until my visit with her to make sure it's okay to climb stairs. I doubt it will be an issue but don't want to push myself too hard and reverse my recovery in any way. God is teaching me patience in all this.
Tuesday I meet with the oncologist. Since I had triple negative breast cancer (hormones not involved), need to find out if she thinks I need any other treatments besides the surgery. And I want to know what I can and cannot eat and what meds I cannot take or if I need chemotherapy (not sure what that would do) and how I would be tested over the years to make sure I don't get cancer in other parts of my body. The mastectomy surgeon stated that he didn't think radiation would be necessary since the cancer never
made it to the lymph nodes.
I received a copy of my pre-op blood test results yesterday (used by the surgeons to see if there were any underlying medical conditions in addition to the cancer). My blood tests showed low triglycerides, borderline high cholesterol (LDL), and HDL was a little low (I may be getting those two
terms reversed - still learning). Glucose was borderline also - but not enough to set off alarm bells. All in all I'm pretty darn healthy which is probably why I am healing so well and am not having side effects (minus soreness around the one drain tube).
There are many things I'm waiting on - but I am not overly concerned about any of it. God got me through so much to date - I fully trust that all will work out. I have His Peace.
I didn't update my blog last night because I was exhausted. Pain meds make me really sleepy to the point where I'll be typing away on my laptop and fall asleep as I'm typing. Can't wait to be off these meds. Going to try for a short walk outside with hubby this evening. I feel like getting up and cleaning and walking around the house during the day and sometimes in the middle of the night. But this constant sleepiness is bothersome. I hope that it is just the meds and not a combination of meds and menopause!
Kids had an annual check-up with their pediatrician this afternoon - Jim took them. They both got their tetanus shots and flu mist vaccines. JJ got blood work done so had to have a blood withdrawal. Fortunately for everyone involved, Jessica did not have to have blood withdrawn. According to her, Jessica does not handle needles well. JJ, however, never has a problem when visiting the doctor.
My sister, Kathi, came over this afternoon and helped me to redress my wound. I will have to do this twice per day until I see the Dr. on Monday. She brought me some wound supplies such as non-stick gauze and wound supplies for my horse, Spice. We'll try to get those items up to the farm tomorrow afternoon. I hope we get to go - I really want to see my horses and Rocky our goat.
God is still blessing me through this journey. I still feel His Peace and gentle guidance. My mood seems to be pretty steady and pleasant most of the time and my health seems to be steadily improving.
Have a blessed weekend! Love to All - Kelly
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Computer Fun Day!
I spent most of my day today fighting with my husband's laptop and my daughter's iPOD. I would much rather have read a book or just watched TV and napped, but I'm the "techie" in the family, so when the computers get to a point of no return, I'm the problem solver - and sometimes the solutions is get rid of the computer.
I've been getting lots of lovely surprises from folks in different forms since my journey began. I've received lovely flowers, baskets, books, a big 4 layer chocolate cake, get well and encouragement cards, and many emails and text messages - all wishing me a speedy recovery and nice thoughts and prayers. This outpouring of affection, love and friendship has been heartwarmingly overwhelming and very well received. Offering encouragement, love and help to one going through a journey like mine means more then anyone realizes. I do need to have a base Faith and good attitude, but I also need the love of God and words from others to help keep that base in place. I just hope that I can be there in the same way for others when they are in need. Just to restate - each and every kind word, thought, prayer, gift has helped in my healing and are all true blessings. God loves it when we hold each other up. Please know you have all helped me more than I can ever say.
Today I was in a little more pain than I have been. My pain killers didn't seem to help much. I had slept great the night before, so not sure if I did too much yesterday and today and just didn't pay attention or it was just an off day. All wounds appear to be healing fine. No new bruising or bleeding (besides what comes out of drainage tubes). Tomorrow I see the plastic surgeon and am hoping to lose all of the tubes. If I only lose 2, I am okay. I just don't enjoy carrying these weird bags around my waist. I think the tubes being stitched in my wounds are what hurt the most. Part of my breasts are completely numb at the moment and was told this is normal. The skin looks normal minus the two lovely scars across the front of each breast with surgical tape over that. I have to say, though, that the scarring doesn't look that bad. I can tell that over time the scars will be very minimal. The surgeon did a great job. So, if he says leave in the tubes, I will. The tubes are in to keep down swelling. I have to believe that the swelling would be far more painful.
Say a prayer for our horse, Spice. She has a wound in her foot that doesn't seem to be healing. The vet is to come out tomorrow afternoon to give her a checkup and see what can be done to treat the wound effectively. I just hope and pray she doesn't end up permanently lame. I haven't exercised her enough this year, so she is also not in as good a shape as she should be. She has a bit of a hay belly, so may need to put her on a diet. Will see what the vet says tomorrow. We'll probably have to wrap her foot and keep it dry until she heals. I'll have to find a way to get Jessica up there to visit with and groom Spice so she knows we still love her.
More tomorrow on how the doctor's appointment went.
Have a blessed day tomorrow!
TTFN - Kelly
I've been getting lots of lovely surprises from folks in different forms since my journey began. I've received lovely flowers, baskets, books, a big 4 layer chocolate cake, get well and encouragement cards, and many emails and text messages - all wishing me a speedy recovery and nice thoughts and prayers. This outpouring of affection, love and friendship has been heartwarmingly overwhelming and very well received. Offering encouragement, love and help to one going through a journey like mine means more then anyone realizes. I do need to have a base Faith and good attitude, but I also need the love of God and words from others to help keep that base in place. I just hope that I can be there in the same way for others when they are in need. Just to restate - each and every kind word, thought, prayer, gift has helped in my healing and are all true blessings. God loves it when we hold each other up. Please know you have all helped me more than I can ever say.
Today I was in a little more pain than I have been. My pain killers didn't seem to help much. I had slept great the night before, so not sure if I did too much yesterday and today and just didn't pay attention or it was just an off day. All wounds appear to be healing fine. No new bruising or bleeding (besides what comes out of drainage tubes). Tomorrow I see the plastic surgeon and am hoping to lose all of the tubes. If I only lose 2, I am okay. I just don't enjoy carrying these weird bags around my waist. I think the tubes being stitched in my wounds are what hurt the most. Part of my breasts are completely numb at the moment and was told this is normal. The skin looks normal minus the two lovely scars across the front of each breast with surgical tape over that. I have to say, though, that the scarring doesn't look that bad. I can tell that over time the scars will be very minimal. The surgeon did a great job. So, if he says leave in the tubes, I will. The tubes are in to keep down swelling. I have to believe that the swelling would be far more painful.
Say a prayer for our horse, Spice. She has a wound in her foot that doesn't seem to be healing. The vet is to come out tomorrow afternoon to give her a checkup and see what can be done to treat the wound effectively. I just hope and pray she doesn't end up permanently lame. I haven't exercised her enough this year, so she is also not in as good a shape as she should be. She has a bit of a hay belly, so may need to put her on a diet. Will see what the vet says tomorrow. We'll probably have to wrap her foot and keep it dry until she heals. I'll have to find a way to get Jessica up there to visit with and groom Spice so she knows we still love her.
More tomorrow on how the doctor's appointment went.
Have a blessed day tomorrow!
TTFN - Kelly
Monday, October 17, 2011
Another day of recovery
Today is Monday, October 17th - 10 days since my surgery. I still have my drain tubes and am still looking forward to their removal this Thursday.
I didn't have a good night last night - side effect of pain meds and kicking in of prune juice and many laxatives. Much better today, but slept through most of it in the living room recliner. Whatever was playing on the TV did not get much of my attention. In fact, I got next to nothing done - just healing - which I am sure is working my poor body hard. I'm sure it was glad that I decided to listen to it and just rest.
My other problem is that I need the pain meds a bit longer than I thought and I'm almost out so I've been taking lower doses to make them last until sometime tomorrow. I'm also doubling up on Advil to keep the pain down. I am very surprised that Giant Eagle ran out of the type of medicine I am using - but it's not the first time. All so we can get fuel perks. Sunny side of this is - I'm learning to get by with out so much pain medication and keeping the constipation at bay.
You never really know how independent you truly are until you have to rely on others. You feel like you should be able to do everything and who are you to ask for help. That's the devil puling at my pride and trying to make me feel unworthy of the help of others. I am overwhelmed at the outpouring of offers of help and support and prayers. I am learning to accept it all. It definitely helps me to keep a positive attitude!
I want to let anyone reading this blog to know I have no problems sharing any part of my journey. I am keeping the full names of people to protect their privacy. But if you want to know the micro-details and aren't too squemish, I have plenty to share.
I know I shared my Cancer horse ride on this blog but have not yet talked about the local Frederick walk/run for Breast Cancer that a friend of mine, Vicky, and some of her friends walked/ran in my name. I was so touched by this. She even had t-shirts made for the occasion with my name printed on the backs. One says "Save the TATAs" for Kelly Conboy and the other says "Fight like a girl" Like Kelly Conboy - awesome! I heard the ladies ran their butts off. I am so thankful and the run/walk raised lots of money for the fight in my local community.
I've been given some really great books about dealing with cancer and how it affects are bodies, minds, and spirits. I am learning so much from this experience. I have especially learned that I am more important to many people than I ever thought. I am so blessed that I get to hear about how people care now instead of after I am gone (which is a very long time from now). Not many people are that blessed.
Romans 8:28 is my favorite verse. And it has proven so true throughout my like and this particular journey - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I am seeing His love pour out to me from so many directions. And this cancer, which has been kicked to the curb, has lead me through a wonderful place - a place of Love and Friendship!
Don't take any day forgranted!
Love ya - Kelly
I didn't have a good night last night - side effect of pain meds and kicking in of prune juice and many laxatives. Much better today, but slept through most of it in the living room recliner. Whatever was playing on the TV did not get much of my attention. In fact, I got next to nothing done - just healing - which I am sure is working my poor body hard. I'm sure it was glad that I decided to listen to it and just rest.
My other problem is that I need the pain meds a bit longer than I thought and I'm almost out so I've been taking lower doses to make them last until sometime tomorrow. I'm also doubling up on Advil to keep the pain down. I am very surprised that Giant Eagle ran out of the type of medicine I am using - but it's not the first time. All so we can get fuel perks. Sunny side of this is - I'm learning to get by with out so much pain medication and keeping the constipation at bay.
You never really know how independent you truly are until you have to rely on others. You feel like you should be able to do everything and who are you to ask for help. That's the devil puling at my pride and trying to make me feel unworthy of the help of others. I am overwhelmed at the outpouring of offers of help and support and prayers. I am learning to accept it all. It definitely helps me to keep a positive attitude!
I want to let anyone reading this blog to know I have no problems sharing any part of my journey. I am keeping the full names of people to protect their privacy. But if you want to know the micro-details and aren't too squemish, I have plenty to share.
I know I shared my Cancer horse ride on this blog but have not yet talked about the local Frederick walk/run for Breast Cancer that a friend of mine, Vicky, and some of her friends walked/ran in my name. I was so touched by this. She even had t-shirts made for the occasion with my name printed on the backs. One says "Save the TATAs" for Kelly Conboy and the other says "Fight like a girl" Like Kelly Conboy - awesome! I heard the ladies ran their butts off. I am so thankful and the run/walk raised lots of money for the fight in my local community.
I've been given some really great books about dealing with cancer and how it affects are bodies, minds, and spirits. I am learning so much from this experience. I have especially learned that I am more important to many people than I ever thought. I am so blessed that I get to hear about how people care now instead of after I am gone (which is a very long time from now). Not many people are that blessed.
Romans 8:28 is my favorite verse. And it has proven so true throughout my like and this particular journey - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." I am seeing His love pour out to me from so many directions. And this cancer, which has been kicked to the curb, has lead me through a wonderful place - a place of Love and Friendship!
Don't take any day forgranted!
Love ya - Kelly
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Post-Operative Doctor Visits
It is the first Thursday following surgery - almost a week now. My brain is in such a fog that the only way I truly know what time of day it is is due to the medicine logs I keep - I have to know what meds I took when so I don't take too much. Believe me, if I forget to take my pain meds - I feel it.
My first post-op doctor's visit was Wednesday with the plastic surgeon. He and the nurse removed my bandages and checked my drains and incisions. I had a blister from one of the bandages rubbing on some exposed skin which Kathi had treated the day before. The opening in the skin on the right breast was extremely painful due to irritation in skin surrounding opening but is not infected. I had also not taken enough pain killer before the appointment. I was trying to wean myself off the pain meds but the doctor told me it is too soon. I can start weaning once the tubes are removed. I also was told I can now take advil. Once I took that, the pain decreased significantly.
After completing the examination, the doctor said that the wounds are healing very nicely but that he wanted to keep the drain tubes in another week. He was talking about possibly removing them at our next appt. The pain pump, which pumped a numbing medicine into my chest, was removed. I am happy to not have to carry the pump around anymore. I really can't tell that I am no longer using it except that I don't have the weight of it hanging around my neck.
Today I met with the mastectomy surgeon. He let me know that their was abolutely no cancer in the left breast nor any of the lymph nodes. A second biopsy was done from a frozen section of lymph nodes and that test came back negative. I am meeting with the oncologist in two weeks to determine what if any further treatments will be needed. It will definitely not be radiation due to having nothing to radiate. He thinks that we got this one truly early. He felt really good about the decisions we made and at the fantastic outcome. I asked what else besides the nipple areas and main breast were removed - he said that the tissue under the skin up to the collar bones was removed (looks like I am a lot thinner/less fatty around area where my necklace falls) and the sides of my breasts (also much less fat there). I thanked him for his efforts which were greatly instrumental in saving my life and thanked the administrative technician that did all the hard work of scheduling the surgeries, the doctors, and the health insurance. I want to find the mammogram tech that found the tumor initially. God inserted all these wonderful people into my life's path and into my cancer journey for a reason. They need to know how important they are in all of this, that they gave of themselves for another human being. These doctors, their staff members, and the radiology staff have all been truly a blessing to me. You can't help but see that this has God's love prints all over it!
My sister, Kathi, is helping me over the next few days with cleaning and dressing my breast wounds. My breasts, as they undergo reconstruction, are a bit difficult to look at - but no where nearly as bad as I thought they would look. There are two main incisions across where the nipple was. They were sown with stitches and covered with surgical tape. That area is mostly numb. The skin between my breasts was not removed, but it is also numb - that may be due to the pain pump's tube coming out of that area. The expanders under the skin and pectoral muscles causes a lot of pressure so I have to move around a bit to keep the feeling of pressure down.
I am having some problems with the pain meds. I don't like how they make me feel. I have trouble with time perception. Sometimes I think that 2 minutes passed and it's been an hour or an hour has passed and it feels like a few minutes. I also see dellusions - like someone I am thinking about in my mind is standing off to my side and when I look they aren't there. I fall asleep at the drop of a hat and start daydreaming when I am still partly awake. I can't always see straight - like my eyes can't stay focused, which gets annoying. I get hot flashes and break out in a sweat (this is probably also due to the fact that I have gone immediately into menopause). I have also been unable to go to the bathroom (#2) until yesterday and had to use a suppository. Another side affect. I am greatful for the pain relief they provide, but am looking forward to just using Advil and then nothing at all.
I have been really sleeping alot (mostly small catnaps) since I've been home, so I haven't been as diligent as I wanted to be with this blog. I will make every effort to keep this blog up, just wanted to explain why I may skip a day here or there. This surgery has taken more of a toll on me than I thought it would. And asking for help has been part of that struggle. I am getting better at asking - but am not all the way there yet.
Kathi will be helping me out through Saturday evening then my mother-in-law, Sally, will be coming to stay for a bit to help out with the kids and the house. My house is pretty cluttered at the moment. I get up throughout the day and will put things away (as long as they don't weigh more than 5 pounds and I don't have to stoop too low or raise my arms over my head). When I start to feel pressure, I know it's time to stop.
I spend some of my day reading yahoo emails on my Android phone and the rest either watching TV or sleeping. I try reading my Bible or another book, but my eyes start to cross and I get too sleepy. So I pray and take a nap.
I know how I feel will improve - I just am impatient with myself. I am healing quickly and have a light at the end of my tunnel - the healing and His light!
Blessings to All - Kelly
My first post-op doctor's visit was Wednesday with the plastic surgeon. He and the nurse removed my bandages and checked my drains and incisions. I had a blister from one of the bandages rubbing on some exposed skin which Kathi had treated the day before. The opening in the skin on the right breast was extremely painful due to irritation in skin surrounding opening but is not infected. I had also not taken enough pain killer before the appointment. I was trying to wean myself off the pain meds but the doctor told me it is too soon. I can start weaning once the tubes are removed. I also was told I can now take advil. Once I took that, the pain decreased significantly.
After completing the examination, the doctor said that the wounds are healing very nicely but that he wanted to keep the drain tubes in another week. He was talking about possibly removing them at our next appt. The pain pump, which pumped a numbing medicine into my chest, was removed. I am happy to not have to carry the pump around anymore. I really can't tell that I am no longer using it except that I don't have the weight of it hanging around my neck.
Today I met with the mastectomy surgeon. He let me know that their was abolutely no cancer in the left breast nor any of the lymph nodes. A second biopsy was done from a frozen section of lymph nodes and that test came back negative. I am meeting with the oncologist in two weeks to determine what if any further treatments will be needed. It will definitely not be radiation due to having nothing to radiate. He thinks that we got this one truly early. He felt really good about the decisions we made and at the fantastic outcome. I asked what else besides the nipple areas and main breast were removed - he said that the tissue under the skin up to the collar bones was removed (looks like I am a lot thinner/less fatty around area where my necklace falls) and the sides of my breasts (also much less fat there). I thanked him for his efforts which were greatly instrumental in saving my life and thanked the administrative technician that did all the hard work of scheduling the surgeries, the doctors, and the health insurance. I want to find the mammogram tech that found the tumor initially. God inserted all these wonderful people into my life's path and into my cancer journey for a reason. They need to know how important they are in all of this, that they gave of themselves for another human being. These doctors, their staff members, and the radiology staff have all been truly a blessing to me. You can't help but see that this has God's love prints all over it!
My sister, Kathi, is helping me over the next few days with cleaning and dressing my breast wounds. My breasts, as they undergo reconstruction, are a bit difficult to look at - but no where nearly as bad as I thought they would look. There are two main incisions across where the nipple was. They were sown with stitches and covered with surgical tape. That area is mostly numb. The skin between my breasts was not removed, but it is also numb - that may be due to the pain pump's tube coming out of that area. The expanders under the skin and pectoral muscles causes a lot of pressure so I have to move around a bit to keep the feeling of pressure down.
I am having some problems with the pain meds. I don't like how they make me feel. I have trouble with time perception. Sometimes I think that 2 minutes passed and it's been an hour or an hour has passed and it feels like a few minutes. I also see dellusions - like someone I am thinking about in my mind is standing off to my side and when I look they aren't there. I fall asleep at the drop of a hat and start daydreaming when I am still partly awake. I can't always see straight - like my eyes can't stay focused, which gets annoying. I get hot flashes and break out in a sweat (this is probably also due to the fact that I have gone immediately into menopause). I have also been unable to go to the bathroom (#2) until yesterday and had to use a suppository. Another side affect. I am greatful for the pain relief they provide, but am looking forward to just using Advil and then nothing at all.
I have been really sleeping alot (mostly small catnaps) since I've been home, so I haven't been as diligent as I wanted to be with this blog. I will make every effort to keep this blog up, just wanted to explain why I may skip a day here or there. This surgery has taken more of a toll on me than I thought it would. And asking for help has been part of that struggle. I am getting better at asking - but am not all the way there yet.
Kathi will be helping me out through Saturday evening then my mother-in-law, Sally, will be coming to stay for a bit to help out with the kids and the house. My house is pretty cluttered at the moment. I get up throughout the day and will put things away (as long as they don't weigh more than 5 pounds and I don't have to stoop too low or raise my arms over my head). When I start to feel pressure, I know it's time to stop.
I spend some of my day reading yahoo emails on my Android phone and the rest either watching TV or sleeping. I try reading my Bible or another book, but my eyes start to cross and I get too sleepy. So I pray and take a nap.
I know how I feel will improve - I just am impatient with myself. I am healing quickly and have a light at the end of my tunnel - the healing and His light!
Blessings to All - Kelly
Monday, October 10, 2011
I am a breast cancer survivor!
It is Monday, third day after surgery, and I am well! I am cancer free, lymph nodes are clear, so it looks like I won't need any radiation or chemo treatments. Praise the Lord!
Before the surgery I had to have radioactive material pumped into my left breast's lymph nodes and after wards I was cat-scanned. I will not lie and say getting the radioactive material was a piece of cake. Actually it was quite painful. I've read different reactions from many different women that have had to have this procedure. I would say mine was somewhere in the middle. There were four shots given around the nipple. Each shot felt like I was getting stung by 1,000 bees. But once the needle came out, no pain. I just did my childbirth breathing, as recommended by the radiologist, and I did fine.
The surgery went well. They gave me valium before they wheeled me to OR so by the time I got to OR I was feeling really fine. I don't remember the trip to the OR at all. Next thing I knew I was on my way into my regular room. The surgery lasted about 8 hours - but it seemed like 5 minutes or less to me. I left the hospital on Saturday evening and went home via my sister Kathi's vehicle.
I will not say that having this surgery was easy. It was very hard. The hardest part was the anticipation before the surgery worrying about the lymph nodes, how the anethstesia would affect me, how much pain I would wake up to. But I'm glad that I did it - I really believe it saved my life and I thanked God and each doctor for doing just that. I have the best team of doctors. They were very patient with me and answered all my questions. I felt very safe in their hands.
There is pain and I'm pretty groggy from the pain meds. The surgeons all said I did remarkably well. God had a lot to do with that - and all those that prayed to Him on my behalf. Prayer works!
The pain is not as bad as I thought it would be. The oophorectomy pain is almost nill - so I can walk about and use my legs to push me into bed, etc. My chest is very sore and if I go too long without a pain pill I can really feel it. But each day there is more time between pain pills - so I am definitely healing.
I am carrying around 4 drainage tubes with little plastic bulbs at the end that suctions out the wound gunk to help me heal quicker. I also carry around a pain pump that pumps pain meds into me on a predefined schedule. I just carry it - don't have to do anything with it. My sisters and husband have all helped me at different shifts with the draining of the tubes and recording of how much gunk is removed. My sisters bathed me and washed my hair (that made me feel 1000% better - can't stand dirty hair). They are all taking good care of me.
This part of my journey has not been easy on anyone. We've had our little tiffs over how to best take care of me, etc. We are all human and make mistakes. And seeing a loved one look how I look (pretty weird and in pain) it is hard. I will admit I HATE asking for help. I am trying to remember that it's more than me that this journey is affecting. I am learning to be patient and ask for help. I think this is the hardest part so far in my journey.
One of my scrub nurses for the surgery was a breast cancer survivor and a Christian. I was so overjoyed when she told me about being a survivor. I told her that my Faith in God was getting me through it all Her face lit up with a huge smile and told me there was no way she could have gotten through hers without God. That took my fears away and I told her how much better she made me feel. She prayed for me through the surgery. I knew God was with me then because I had asked God for someone to pray for me in the surgery room - God is Awesome! I had three surgical teams working on me. One for the mastectomy, one for the reconstruction, and last for oophorectomy (removal of ovaries). Each member of the team met with me and were very nice and open about any questions.
I woke up from the anathstesia with no nasea or vomiting. In fact I was experience hunger pains. But I was only allowed ice chips for the rest of the night. I had nystagmus (eyes involuntarily moving back and forth - 8 hours worth of anesthesia) when JIm, JJ and Kathi came in to see me. I kept telling Kathi that my eyes felt shaky. She told me to close them, which helped alleviate that feeling. It must have looked really weird to see my eyes doing that.
I had to have pressure cuffs around my calves to ward off blood clots (due to long surgery) - which ended up giving me light purple bruises in three places on my calves. I had the mastectomy surgeon check them when he visited me on Saturday morning because I wasn't sure if it was purple ink or bruises - apparently the cuffs were on too tight but I couldn't tell - I liked the massage they gave me.
I ate three full meals on Saturday before going home. I sat in bed during the morning and in a chair the rest of the day until I went home. I was up going to the restroom on my own after the plastic surgeon came into see me. He let them remove the oxygen, the cuffs, and the catheter so I could go the restroom on my own. By early afternoon I was walking the hallway.
The nursing staff took great care of me and were extremely nice. The ladies that delivered my food were really quick. I was shocked to find out that I could order my food from what looked like a restaurant menu and they brought it to my room within 10 minutes of ordering by phone.
Saturday evening it took a few minutes to get me safely to my bedroom. The dogs had to be let out and a pathway made to my room (kids aren't best housekeepers) Once I shuffled my way to my bedroom, I had the fun job of getting myself into our high 4 poster bed. When I finally got in it - AHHHHH - relief at last - my own bed.
Sunday I did pretty well - spent all day in my bed. Got a sponge bath, had tubes drained, watched TV, ate a great dessert dish made by my Kathi's friend Cynthia. My son helped out a lot. Jess got home in the afternoon - she was taken care of by my friend, Karen - to keep her mind off of me as she went to school on Friday and so should could attend a wedding with her best friend Chelsea (Karen's daughter). They had a really great time.
Today I am out in the living room sitting in the recliner. I'm not feeling as good today as I had been - but that is due gas and constipation. I was running A fever early this morning but was able to kick it with Tylenol. Bad thing about the pain meds - I itch and itch. But when I go to scratch, the itch stops, so I don't dig and cause wounds. I will be glad when I can be off the meds.
And apparently my menopause has kicked in already - I am having hot flashes. I hope I can find something to alleviate them as I am not allowed hormone treatments due to the type of cancer I had (love that word, had).
My dogs have not jumped on me once - my sisters and husband have been good about watching out for that. I'm really pleased with how the animals are behaving. I'm wondering if they just sense something is up and are taking it easy around me.
I walk fine - but can't stand up too straight yet. There was a lot of cutting of muscles during the reconstruction surgery, which is where most of the pain comes from. I can't take off the bandages until Wednesday. I'm hoping the pressure I'm feeling will lesson once they come off. Some of that is caused by the expanders being under the pectoral muscles - which are the muscles being stretched. The surgeon was able to expand me to half the size I was during the surgery. I will have to go on weekly visits to his offiice until I complete the expansion. Then I will have the outpatient surgery where my permament implants will replace the expanders.
I look pretty goofy at the moment, but that will change as time and healing take place. I'm looking forward to the day when I can get back to regular exercise and riding my horse.
Praise God I made it through and should have a speedy recovery!
Before the surgery I had to have radioactive material pumped into my left breast's lymph nodes and after wards I was cat-scanned. I will not lie and say getting the radioactive material was a piece of cake. Actually it was quite painful. I've read different reactions from many different women that have had to have this procedure. I would say mine was somewhere in the middle. There were four shots given around the nipple. Each shot felt like I was getting stung by 1,000 bees. But once the needle came out, no pain. I just did my childbirth breathing, as recommended by the radiologist, and I did fine.
The surgery went well. They gave me valium before they wheeled me to OR so by the time I got to OR I was feeling really fine. I don't remember the trip to the OR at all. Next thing I knew I was on my way into my regular room. The surgery lasted about 8 hours - but it seemed like 5 minutes or less to me. I left the hospital on Saturday evening and went home via my sister Kathi's vehicle.
I will not say that having this surgery was easy. It was very hard. The hardest part was the anticipation before the surgery worrying about the lymph nodes, how the anethstesia would affect me, how much pain I would wake up to. But I'm glad that I did it - I really believe it saved my life and I thanked God and each doctor for doing just that. I have the best team of doctors. They were very patient with me and answered all my questions. I felt very safe in their hands.
There is pain and I'm pretty groggy from the pain meds. The surgeons all said I did remarkably well. God had a lot to do with that - and all those that prayed to Him on my behalf. Prayer works!
The pain is not as bad as I thought it would be. The oophorectomy pain is almost nill - so I can walk about and use my legs to push me into bed, etc. My chest is very sore and if I go too long without a pain pill I can really feel it. But each day there is more time between pain pills - so I am definitely healing.
I am carrying around 4 drainage tubes with little plastic bulbs at the end that suctions out the wound gunk to help me heal quicker. I also carry around a pain pump that pumps pain meds into me on a predefined schedule. I just carry it - don't have to do anything with it. My sisters and husband have all helped me at different shifts with the draining of the tubes and recording of how much gunk is removed. My sisters bathed me and washed my hair (that made me feel 1000% better - can't stand dirty hair). They are all taking good care of me.
This part of my journey has not been easy on anyone. We've had our little tiffs over how to best take care of me, etc. We are all human and make mistakes. And seeing a loved one look how I look (pretty weird and in pain) it is hard. I will admit I HATE asking for help. I am trying to remember that it's more than me that this journey is affecting. I am learning to be patient and ask for help. I think this is the hardest part so far in my journey.
One of my scrub nurses for the surgery was a breast cancer survivor and a Christian. I was so overjoyed when she told me about being a survivor. I told her that my Faith in God was getting me through it all Her face lit up with a huge smile and told me there was no way she could have gotten through hers without God. That took my fears away and I told her how much better she made me feel. She prayed for me through the surgery. I knew God was with me then because I had asked God for someone to pray for me in the surgery room - God is Awesome! I had three surgical teams working on me. One for the mastectomy, one for the reconstruction, and last for oophorectomy (removal of ovaries). Each member of the team met with me and were very nice and open about any questions.
I woke up from the anathstesia with no nasea or vomiting. In fact I was experience hunger pains. But I was only allowed ice chips for the rest of the night. I had nystagmus (eyes involuntarily moving back and forth - 8 hours worth of anesthesia) when JIm, JJ and Kathi came in to see me. I kept telling Kathi that my eyes felt shaky. She told me to close them, which helped alleviate that feeling. It must have looked really weird to see my eyes doing that.
I had to have pressure cuffs around my calves to ward off blood clots (due to long surgery) - which ended up giving me light purple bruises in three places on my calves. I had the mastectomy surgeon check them when he visited me on Saturday morning because I wasn't sure if it was purple ink or bruises - apparently the cuffs were on too tight but I couldn't tell - I liked the massage they gave me.
I ate three full meals on Saturday before going home. I sat in bed during the morning and in a chair the rest of the day until I went home. I was up going to the restroom on my own after the plastic surgeon came into see me. He let them remove the oxygen, the cuffs, and the catheter so I could go the restroom on my own. By early afternoon I was walking the hallway.
The nursing staff took great care of me and were extremely nice. The ladies that delivered my food were really quick. I was shocked to find out that I could order my food from what looked like a restaurant menu and they brought it to my room within 10 minutes of ordering by phone.
Saturday evening it took a few minutes to get me safely to my bedroom. The dogs had to be let out and a pathway made to my room (kids aren't best housekeepers) Once I shuffled my way to my bedroom, I had the fun job of getting myself into our high 4 poster bed. When I finally got in it - AHHHHH - relief at last - my own bed.
Sunday I did pretty well - spent all day in my bed. Got a sponge bath, had tubes drained, watched TV, ate a great dessert dish made by my Kathi's friend Cynthia. My son helped out a lot. Jess got home in the afternoon - she was taken care of by my friend, Karen - to keep her mind off of me as she went to school on Friday and so should could attend a wedding with her best friend Chelsea (Karen's daughter). They had a really great time.
Today I am out in the living room sitting in the recliner. I'm not feeling as good today as I had been - but that is due gas and constipation. I was running A fever early this morning but was able to kick it with Tylenol. Bad thing about the pain meds - I itch and itch. But when I go to scratch, the itch stops, so I don't dig and cause wounds. I will be glad when I can be off the meds.
And apparently my menopause has kicked in already - I am having hot flashes. I hope I can find something to alleviate them as I am not allowed hormone treatments due to the type of cancer I had (love that word, had).
My dogs have not jumped on me once - my sisters and husband have been good about watching out for that. I'm really pleased with how the animals are behaving. I'm wondering if they just sense something is up and are taking it easy around me.
I walk fine - but can't stand up too straight yet. There was a lot of cutting of muscles during the reconstruction surgery, which is where most of the pain comes from. I can't take off the bandages until Wednesday. I'm hoping the pressure I'm feeling will lesson once they come off. Some of that is caused by the expanders being under the pectoral muscles - which are the muscles being stretched. The surgeon was able to expand me to half the size I was during the surgery. I will have to go on weekly visits to his offiice until I complete the expansion. Then I will have the outpatient surgery where my permament implants will replace the expanders.
I look pretty goofy at the moment, but that will change as time and healing take place. I'm looking forward to the day when I can get back to regular exercise and riding my horse.
Praise God I made it through and should have a speedy recovery!
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Day Before Surgery
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30
It is the day before surgery. I have to admit I'm a bit nervous mostly because I don't know how I will feel when I awaken after the surgery. I have been praying hourly and reading healing scriptures. The verse above came to me via an email subscription service. But what struck me was that it was part of my prayer to God this morning in the shower. This is one of the many ways God lets me know he hears my prayers and is watching over me.
I was so blessed last night. My husband brought all of us together and prayed for me. I was so moved! God is good! And my husband is great! He will take good care of me.
I also went to see my horses and goat last night. Poor Spice - I walked her over the rocks to get her ready for a ride and she cut her foot on a rock. So I put her in a stall in the barn and Donna put hydrogen peroxide on her wound. I decided that she needed to rest her foot and that Chunky would be too much horse for me or the kids to ride, so we went next door to my friend Phyllis' house and we rode her two horses Jazy and Sierra. Phyllis and I ponied the horses for JJ and Jessica. We walked them down the street to the Lutheren church, switched riders so I could ride and Jess could ride the other horse. We did a little trotting and went back to the bottom of the driveway where I put JJ on Jazy. JJ rode Jazy back up to the barn. All had a great, relaxing time. And Phyllis and I got our exercise.
I will be going to stay with my sister, Kathi, tonight. I have to shower tonight and tomorrow and apply ointment (numbing of aerola where injection will be given) to my breasts before getting to the hospital at 7:30. I have to first go to be admitted and then go to the Nuclear Medicine department to have my left breast injected with something that will allow the surgeon to see my sentinel lymph nodes during surgery. Pray they are not infected with cancer cells!
I don't have much else to say but I am as ready as I'll ever be. I'm sorry that I have to lose a few body parts - they have served me well and I will miss them. But my life is most important at this time, so I choose my life. When I am feeling better, I will make my next post about how the surgery went and how I'm feeling and what the future holds for me in the way of doctors appointments and treatments.
Peace and Blessings to all! - Kelly
Matthew 11:28-30
It is the day before surgery. I have to admit I'm a bit nervous mostly because I don't know how I will feel when I awaken after the surgery. I have been praying hourly and reading healing scriptures. The verse above came to me via an email subscription service. But what struck me was that it was part of my prayer to God this morning in the shower. This is one of the many ways God lets me know he hears my prayers and is watching over me.
I was so blessed last night. My husband brought all of us together and prayed for me. I was so moved! God is good! And my husband is great! He will take good care of me.
I also went to see my horses and goat last night. Poor Spice - I walked her over the rocks to get her ready for a ride and she cut her foot on a rock. So I put her in a stall in the barn and Donna put hydrogen peroxide on her wound. I decided that she needed to rest her foot and that Chunky would be too much horse for me or the kids to ride, so we went next door to my friend Phyllis' house and we rode her two horses Jazy and Sierra. Phyllis and I ponied the horses for JJ and Jessica. We walked them down the street to the Lutheren church, switched riders so I could ride and Jess could ride the other horse. We did a little trotting and went back to the bottom of the driveway where I put JJ on Jazy. JJ rode Jazy back up to the barn. All had a great, relaxing time. And Phyllis and I got our exercise.
I will be going to stay with my sister, Kathi, tonight. I have to shower tonight and tomorrow and apply ointment (numbing of aerola where injection will be given) to my breasts before getting to the hospital at 7:30. I have to first go to be admitted and then go to the Nuclear Medicine department to have my left breast injected with something that will allow the surgeon to see my sentinel lymph nodes during surgery. Pray they are not infected with cancer cells!
I don't have much else to say but I am as ready as I'll ever be. I'm sorry that I have to lose a few body parts - they have served me well and I will miss them. But my life is most important at this time, so I choose my life. When I am feeling better, I will make my next post about how the surgery went and how I'm feeling and what the future holds for me in the way of doctors appointments and treatments.
Peace and Blessings to all! - Kelly
Monday, October 3, 2011
One More Day Closer
It's Monday - a few more days until surgery. I worked all weekend cleaning up my bedroom, doing laundry, cleaning, getting ready. Can you ever really be "ready" for this type of surgery? No easy road to it. Parts of me want to go kicking and screaming into the night but other parts want it over with and to be cancer free. The cancer free part is winning out - the part that screams "Life" and "Family" and "God" and "Friends".
I've even discussed with my husband the "what if's". He didn't like to hear it - but I needed to let him know how I felt about "what if" this is the end of this journey. I know where I am going if this part of journey ends - I will be with my Father - my true Father. And if I end up getting through to continue my journey, I will still be with my true Father. So no matter what - I am with the true Light of Life. I have nothing to fear because He is with me. Who or what can be against me if He is for me? I love this Life - a true gift from God.
I had a talk with the devil today - and told Him that his cancer is not going to kill my Spirit or this body. He loses - again! I am fighting and I am winning! Oh Happy Day! God is Good!!!!
I've even discussed with my husband the "what if's". He didn't like to hear it - but I needed to let him know how I felt about "what if" this is the end of this journey. I know where I am going if this part of journey ends - I will be with my Father - my true Father. And if I end up getting through to continue my journey, I will still be with my true Father. So no matter what - I am with the true Light of Life. I have nothing to fear because He is with me. Who or what can be against me if He is for me? I love this Life - a true gift from God.
I had a talk with the devil today - and told Him that his cancer is not going to kill my Spirit or this body. He loses - again! I am fighting and I am winning! Oh Happy Day! God is Good!!!!
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Week before surgery
Here I am on Saturday evening, a week before the surgery. I don't know that I will ever be completely ready for it, but I am probably as ready as I will ever be. I've come to accept that I will be in pain for awhile and will look different. I have worked all day at cleaning my bathroom and bedroom out, throwing out old clothes, old jewelry, old meds and toiletries. I'm doing this because these are the rooms that I will be seeing the most for the coming month of recovery. I want it to be uncluttered (as much as that is possible in my small house) so that I can rest a little easier and so that when people come to visit me my room and bathroom won't look like a third world country (I am not the worlds's best house keeper).
The journey towards surgery has had a few trip-ups so far. Our little goat, Misty, died of listeriosis this week. We tried to save her by bringing her to the house and nursing her, but the damage had already been done so we had to let her go. It was especially hard on my daughter. We've raised two baby goats from 3 weeks until this September when they turned one. The little boy is Rocky. He seemed to miss his sister at first but is alright with his three other female goat friends. I really like the experience with the goats, who live where I board my horses. My boarder's daughters got really attached to Misty and Rocky. They were also upset when we lost Misty. My two goats are a lot of fun - very friendly and always happy to see everyone that comes to visit. They would have made great petting zoo animals. I guess that has to do with raising them from 3 weeks on and spending almost every possible moment with them. To say the least, they were spoiled. All of our animals get spoiled - we call our house the Conboy farm. Two dogs, 3 cats, 2 turtles and a cockatiel. If we could we'd have the horses and goats living here too, but don't have the acreage.
When I return from the hospital, my animals are going to have a hard time adjusting to having to stay away from me for awhile. They like to jump on me which I can't allow since I'll be healing. But my kids and husband will keep them busy, and we may be able to have small visits where they are held back so they can't jump. These are things you don't think about when you let your pets sleep in your bed. My german sheperd, Mercy, is going to be a basket case as she is my shadow when I'm home. She is next to me right now on the couch as I type this. She has our other dog, Buddy, to keep her company. So hopefully all will be fine there.
The next little problem that I ran into was that I was in a car accident on my way to work Friday morning. I was stopped at a crossing when the rear end of my van was side-swiped by another car. The driver and I exchanged information and I was able to go on my way to work. No one was hurt, just the cars. My bumper was damaged - but is not hanging off or anything, just banged up and a bit cut up. The claims adjuster came today. I will probably wait until after the surgery to have it fixed. Need to make sure I have money in case we have to pay the $500 deductible.
I am hoping that the rest of my days before surgery will be uneventful. We are all doing well. My son tells me he loves me many times a day, but then he's always been that way with me. My daughter and her friend are working together to get my jewelry mess cleaned up. I am so blessed to have such great kids. I have such a great relationship with both of them. It is nice to know that they both trust me enough to come to me with all their problems and to tell me their dreams and what they like in their lives. Not everyone has such a relationship. I was close to my parents as well. So maybe they passed on something to me that allows me to be a good parent. I am not perfect by any means. But they know that and accept my imperfections. I am so thankful that God blessed me with children. I have had such a great time raising them! I am so looking forward to the day they give me grand children (if they want to have children). And I'm looking forward to another motorcycle ride with my husband. We didn't get to do that this year since his bike was damaged during a strong wind storm. Hopefully next spring we'll get to ride.
I met with my plastic surgeon on Monday. I am definitely having the saline implants. He will put in expanders under my pectoral muscles during the first surgery. In a few months I go back as out patient and get them replaced with saline implants. After that heals then I get the cosmetic work of the nipples and aerola - or at least what will look like them. After the first surgery I will be wrapped tight and will have tubes coming out of my wounds and a pain pump in the middle of my chest. I will look pretty pathetic from the sounds of it. But after the first week (around Thursday) I will go to visit the plastic surgeon, who will remove the bandages, check my wounds and give me an idea of how much longer the tubes will have to remain. Somewhere during that time I will also be visiting my general surgeon who will do the mastecomies and probably the gynecological surgeon who will do the ovary removals. This will not be a very dignified time for me. But the good part is that it gives me a much better chance to live to see my children grow and have families of their own. That is first and foremost in my mind. And my husband and I get to grow old together. And I get to ride my horses and enjoy a good long life. This is just a small hiccup through my journey of life. I think my purpose in life is to put other's at ease and to show them what a good attitude can do for you even when faced with a life-threatening illness. God has been so good to me through all of this. His peace is always with me, and no matter what bad things happen, I know He's with me through it all and holding me up when I need it.
The journey towards surgery has had a few trip-ups so far. Our little goat, Misty, died of listeriosis this week. We tried to save her by bringing her to the house and nursing her, but the damage had already been done so we had to let her go. It was especially hard on my daughter. We've raised two baby goats from 3 weeks until this September when they turned one. The little boy is Rocky. He seemed to miss his sister at first but is alright with his three other female goat friends. I really like the experience with the goats, who live where I board my horses. My boarder's daughters got really attached to Misty and Rocky. They were also upset when we lost Misty. My two goats are a lot of fun - very friendly and always happy to see everyone that comes to visit. They would have made great petting zoo animals. I guess that has to do with raising them from 3 weeks on and spending almost every possible moment with them. To say the least, they were spoiled. All of our animals get spoiled - we call our house the Conboy farm. Two dogs, 3 cats, 2 turtles and a cockatiel. If we could we'd have the horses and goats living here too, but don't have the acreage.
When I return from the hospital, my animals are going to have a hard time adjusting to having to stay away from me for awhile. They like to jump on me which I can't allow since I'll be healing. But my kids and husband will keep them busy, and we may be able to have small visits where they are held back so they can't jump. These are things you don't think about when you let your pets sleep in your bed. My german sheperd, Mercy, is going to be a basket case as she is my shadow when I'm home. She is next to me right now on the couch as I type this. She has our other dog, Buddy, to keep her company. So hopefully all will be fine there.
The next little problem that I ran into was that I was in a car accident on my way to work Friday morning. I was stopped at a crossing when the rear end of my van was side-swiped by another car. The driver and I exchanged information and I was able to go on my way to work. No one was hurt, just the cars. My bumper was damaged - but is not hanging off or anything, just banged up and a bit cut up. The claims adjuster came today. I will probably wait until after the surgery to have it fixed. Need to make sure I have money in case we have to pay the $500 deductible.
I am hoping that the rest of my days before surgery will be uneventful. We are all doing well. My son tells me he loves me many times a day, but then he's always been that way with me. My daughter and her friend are working together to get my jewelry mess cleaned up. I am so blessed to have such great kids. I have such a great relationship with both of them. It is nice to know that they both trust me enough to come to me with all their problems and to tell me their dreams and what they like in their lives. Not everyone has such a relationship. I was close to my parents as well. So maybe they passed on something to me that allows me to be a good parent. I am not perfect by any means. But they know that and accept my imperfections. I am so thankful that God blessed me with children. I have had such a great time raising them! I am so looking forward to the day they give me grand children (if they want to have children). And I'm looking forward to another motorcycle ride with my husband. We didn't get to do that this year since his bike was damaged during a strong wind storm. Hopefully next spring we'll get to ride.
I met with my plastic surgeon on Monday. I am definitely having the saline implants. He will put in expanders under my pectoral muscles during the first surgery. In a few months I go back as out patient and get them replaced with saline implants. After that heals then I get the cosmetic work of the nipples and aerola - or at least what will look like them. After the first surgery I will be wrapped tight and will have tubes coming out of my wounds and a pain pump in the middle of my chest. I will look pretty pathetic from the sounds of it. But after the first week (around Thursday) I will go to visit the plastic surgeon, who will remove the bandages, check my wounds and give me an idea of how much longer the tubes will have to remain. Somewhere during that time I will also be visiting my general surgeon who will do the mastecomies and probably the gynecological surgeon who will do the ovary removals. This will not be a very dignified time for me. But the good part is that it gives me a much better chance to live to see my children grow and have families of their own. That is first and foremost in my mind. And my husband and I get to grow old together. And I get to ride my horses and enjoy a good long life. This is just a small hiccup through my journey of life. I think my purpose in life is to put other's at ease and to show them what a good attitude can do for you even when faced with a life-threatening illness. God has been so good to me through all of this. His peace is always with me, and no matter what bad things happen, I know He's with me through it all and holding me up when I need it.
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