Tomorrow I meet with the plastic surgeon. I have a bunch of questions for him, so will be taking a list and will try to post the questions and answers on my next posting.
Have a blessed day today and the rest of your week! Love ya'll!
Kelly
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Weekend - Horse Ride for Cancer and Other Things
I rode my horse, Chunky, on Saturday for the "Ride the Trail to a Cure" in Mont Alto PA with 3 friends - Winnie, Diane and Phyllis and their horses Spirit, Sierra and Jazz. The day turned out to be the perfect day for a ride, not the bad all rainy day it was supposed to be. The ride ended up collecting over $10K which was awesome. I met a lot of wonderful people and their horses. It was a good day on Saturday.
Today, Sunday, not so good. My one year old goat, Misty, ended up getting very ill. We had to have the vet come out today and found out she has Listeriosis. Over the next week I have my goat in my basement and am nursing her back to health with a large mixture of drugs that the very nice vet provided to my in injection form. Today I learnd how to give a shot via skin and via muscle. By the end of all this my goat may end up hating me, but it will be a healthy hate. She should be back to herself by Friday.
Tomorrow I meet with the plastic surgeon. I have a bunch of questions for him, so will be taking a list and will try to post the questions and answers on my next posting.
Have a blessed day today and the rest of your week! Love ya'll!
Kelly
Tomorrow I meet with the plastic surgeon. I have a bunch of questions for him, so will be taking a list and will try to post the questions and answers on my next posting.
Have a blessed day today and the rest of your week! Love ya'll!
Kelly
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Good Day Today
Nothing really new to report. All is well. I had a good day today. Spent work day laughing and joking with co-workers in between working. I am having a bit of trouble with my right shoulder. Has to do with how I'm sitting at my workstation. I can't seem to get myself positioned correctly to stop the discomfort. I think I need to get up from my desk more often. I sit way too long on my butt all day! At least I work out most mornings so I am getting exercise.
I did learn that my plastic surgeon was contacted by my insurance company so all looks good to go for the surgery.
Getting myself psyched for this Saturday's cancer ride in PA. I am hoping that my horse, Chunky, will behave for me. He usually does better away from home. He is getting much more brave when we go on rides. He is not so buddy sour anymore. He actually likes to take the lead, which he never has really liked to do in the 3 1/2 years I've had him. I love riding him and spending time with him. He really lowers my stress level and helps me to relax. I'm so glad I have him and my other horse, Spice. When I start to feel down, all I have to do is go to the farm where I board them and I feel instantly better. I've heard horse back riding is very therapeutic. It will be awhile after the surgery before I can ride, but it will be cold any way. I don't do much riding during colder months. By springtime I should be getting back into shape physically so that I can ride again. I am looking forward to that time.
Almost every day I find someone new that has me on a prayer list. It is wonderful that God is helping me to meet so many wonderful people and to be able touch lives in a positive way. I wish, though, that I was better at writing and could put some more humor into this blog. I so want to joke about my breast cancer to lighten the mood. I want people to be comfortable around me and be able to ask questions or give me their insight. Life is no fun if you can't laugh at it sometimes.
I did forget to mention in my other blog entries that I had an MRI done before I got the results of my genetic testing. The remnants of my tumor after needle biopsy were down to about 3 mm from .75 cm. No other cancer showed up in either breast. My new prayer is that the remnant died and is not spreading to lymph nodes so that when I do have the mastecomies my lymph nodes don't have to be removed.
I know God loves me. He talks to me all the time through circumstances, other people, email, etc. The following Bible verses popped up in my email box today. It's when I get these types of emails that I know He is speaking directly to me. He is letting me know that He is with me every step of the way through this journey.
"Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? (Even the Scriptures say, 'For your sake we are killed every day, we are being slaughtered like sheep.') No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."
I did learn that my plastic surgeon was contacted by my insurance company so all looks good to go for the surgery.
Getting myself psyched for this Saturday's cancer ride in PA. I am hoping that my horse, Chunky, will behave for me. He usually does better away from home. He is getting much more brave when we go on rides. He is not so buddy sour anymore. He actually likes to take the lead, which he never has really liked to do in the 3 1/2 years I've had him. I love riding him and spending time with him. He really lowers my stress level and helps me to relax. I'm so glad I have him and my other horse, Spice. When I start to feel down, all I have to do is go to the farm where I board them and I feel instantly better. I've heard horse back riding is very therapeutic. It will be awhile after the surgery before I can ride, but it will be cold any way. I don't do much riding during colder months. By springtime I should be getting back into shape physically so that I can ride again. I am looking forward to that time.
Almost every day I find someone new that has me on a prayer list. It is wonderful that God is helping me to meet so many wonderful people and to be able touch lives in a positive way. I wish, though, that I was better at writing and could put some more humor into this blog. I so want to joke about my breast cancer to lighten the mood. I want people to be comfortable around me and be able to ask questions or give me their insight. Life is no fun if you can't laugh at it sometimes.
I did forget to mention in my other blog entries that I had an MRI done before I got the results of my genetic testing. The remnants of my tumor after needle biopsy were down to about 3 mm from .75 cm. No other cancer showed up in either breast. My new prayer is that the remnant died and is not spreading to lymph nodes so that when I do have the mastecomies my lymph nodes don't have to be removed.
I know God loves me. He talks to me all the time through circumstances, other people, email, etc. The following Bible verses popped up in my email box today. It's when I get these types of emails that I know He is speaking directly to me. He is letting me know that He is with me every step of the way through this journey.
"Can anything ever separate us from Christ's love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or are hungry or cold or in danger or threatened with death? (Even the Scriptures say, 'For your sake we are killed every day, we are being slaughtered like sheep.') No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels can't, and the demons can't. Our fears for today, our worries about tomorrow, and even the powers of hell can't keep God's love away. Whether we are high above the sky or in the deepest ocean, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:35-39 NLT
Have a Blessed Day!
Kelly
Monday, September 19, 2011
Another Posting
During this journey, there will be up days and down days. Life will happen no matter if I am sick or well. And things seem to happen in my life in bunches instead of one at a time - I'm sure most people find this to be the case with their life's journey.
I am so caught up in my worries about what I am going through, that I forget that those that are with me on this journey are also affected. I have to be very careful to tread lightly on those that care about me so that I don't add insult to injury. I am trying to keep a positive attitude but there are times when I just get touchy or mean and am not my normal self. And then there are times when I am my normal self - and that isn't always a good thing. Smile :-)
I find I am making many more mistakes than I usually do. I am much more forgetful than I have been and feel like I am, at times, a total air head. My concentration seems to be not as easily kept. I wish I could stop thinking about the upcoming surgery. It is only the last two nights that I have gotten a good night's sleep. And I think that is only because I prayed to God to take over so that I could rest. Which worked!
I am exercising about three times a week. I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life. I've been dieting since mid-may and have dropped 30 pounds (on purpose). And in the midst of life and being in great health comes breast cancer - sneaking up on my from nowhere like a thief in the night. I am not happy about it, but there is nothing to do but either whine and cry and ask "Why Me" or just accept it as a temporary hiccup in my life's path and get through it with a postive attitude and a heavy reliance on God to get me through it. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Phillipians 4:13
It is not because of God that I am sick - there is no blame to be made here. I am not angry at anyone, just the cancer itself. And I will fight it with all that I have and all that God gives me until I am back to my healthy self. I will be fine. I will survive. I will get passed this part of my journey and live to tell the tale! God please grant me the patience I need with others and especially with myself.
I am so caught up in my worries about what I am going through, that I forget that those that are with me on this journey are also affected. I have to be very careful to tread lightly on those that care about me so that I don't add insult to injury. I am trying to keep a positive attitude but there are times when I just get touchy or mean and am not my normal self. And then there are times when I am my normal self - and that isn't always a good thing. Smile :-)
I find I am making many more mistakes than I usually do. I am much more forgetful than I have been and feel like I am, at times, a total air head. My concentration seems to be not as easily kept. I wish I could stop thinking about the upcoming surgery. It is only the last two nights that I have gotten a good night's sleep. And I think that is only because I prayed to God to take over so that I could rest. Which worked!
I am exercising about three times a week. I feel like I'm in the best shape of my life. I've been dieting since mid-may and have dropped 30 pounds (on purpose). And in the midst of life and being in great health comes breast cancer - sneaking up on my from nowhere like a thief in the night. I am not happy about it, but there is nothing to do but either whine and cry and ask "Why Me" or just accept it as a temporary hiccup in my life's path and get through it with a postive attitude and a heavy reliance on God to get me through it. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - Phillipians 4:13
It is not because of God that I am sick - there is no blame to be made here. I am not angry at anyone, just the cancer itself. And I will fight it with all that I have and all that God gives me until I am back to my healthy self. I will be fine. I will survive. I will get passed this part of my journey and live to tell the tale! God please grant me the patience I need with others and especially with myself.
Saturday, September 17, 2011
My Journey - Pre Surgery and Pre-Treatment
My journey began in early August of this year, 2011. I had a mammogram that I had put off for several months. I was due to have it in March, but everyday life and several dentist appointments got in my way.
The mammogram exam itself was easy and I was joking around with the technician about her in-laws. I had been excused when done with the exam to go and get dressed, As I was getting dressed the technician yelled out "Wait..." and so the journey began. She almost missed the extremely small tumor but there it was in the on screen picture of my left breast. The radiologist had a sonogram done to get more info and after that exam recommended to me that I see a surgeon.
The year before I had gone in for a lump that I found in my right breast which ended up to be scar tissue from a horse bite I had received over a year earlier. I had a biopsy done on it and it turned out to be benign. When this tumor showed up in my left breast, and in roughly the same place as in the right, I was not highly concerned. I thought it was just more scar tissue or that maybe I was just a tumor maker.
A few days later after my needle biopsy on my left breast I was left wondering what the results would be, but I tried not to think about it much. I prayed to God for complete healing and had my on-line Bible Study group pray for me as well.
The following week I went into see my surgeon and was told that the tumor was cancer and that it was invasive ductal carcinoma and that it was tripple negative. It was originally .75 cm in size (smaller than my pinky fingernail) and most was removed during the biopsy. A lumpectomy was scheduled.
My mother had breast cancer in the same breast in early 2000's and had a single mastectomy and in 2004 died from ovarian cancer. So my surgeon and I agreed I should be genetically tested to see if I had the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation.
A week later I received the news from my surgeon that I did have the BRA2 gene mutation, so figured that is why, at age 47, I have breast cancer.
Upon getting this news my surgeon suggested that due to my type of cancer and my BRCA2 gene mutation, that I should consider a bilateral mastectomy and double oophorectomy. I was shocked but thought instantly of my kids and told the doctor that I wanted to go through with his suggestion. I also stated that I wanted reconstruction, which my mother did not go through. At my age it is important to me to look and be as close to normal as possible. Not all women take this route, but felt it was best for me. He referred me to a plastic surgeon, an oncologist, and called my gynecologist who referred me to a gynecological surgeon.
I have been praying about my decision since the moment I made it. I have been praying since the moment I found out I had a tumor, to be honest. I will tell you, that if it weren't for my Faith and Love for Jesus, and His guiding presence, I would be a puddle of mush on the floor. I tell Him about my worries and my anxieties and with that comes His peace and acceptance. I won't say that I am 100% positive all the time, but I do try to keep up my spirits and God takes care of the rest.
This experience is not an easy journey, and I have just gotten started. I have been reading other's blogs with similar journeys and experiences. They are all right - this is an individual journey. But I don't understand how anyone can truly get through this without a close relationship with God. He is my Rock and my Salvation. He has put so many wonderful people in my life's path to help me with this. He gave me a very loving and caring husband who has been so supportive since he got the news. He even puts up with me when I have my "moment"s and he is always looking for people to pray for me. My kids are great and have been trying to help me out around the house and taking care of their school work and to also put up with my "moment"s. My sisters, Kathi and Karen, both are very supportive and are going to be my crutches as I go through the pain and discomfort I will likely endure. My sister, Kathi, will be taking care of me as I recover post-surgery. She has been through this with my mother, so knows what to do and is a great caregiver. I am surrounded by family and friends. My mother-in-law, Sally, has been a great help in letting me talk about my fears and anxieties. My sister-in-law, Tina, has also been great to talk with. My friend, Judy, who is my mother-in-law's next door neighbor, has been through a similar experience and is a great inspiration to me. My husband's Aunt Carol has also been an inspiriation, having survived three bouts of cancer. My friends Winnie and Donna have been so helpful with their love and support and helping me care for my two horses and two goats. I am going on a cancer ride next week to help a local cancer organization raise money. My friends at work have all been so wonderful to me. They call me often to check on me and have all offered to help me on my journey. And there is my GoldDigger Minstry friends who are all praying for me. May God bless each and every one of these wonderful people. And may He help all women going through this journey.
One of the hardest parts about this journey will be the ability for me to let myself heal and to accept and ask for help from others. I think most women have this problem since most of us are caregivers of others. We often put ourselves on the bottom of the needs list. I am learning alot about myself in this process and hope I can get through it all with honor and dignity and that others can see Jesus' light shine through me and that I not block His light. I know all this is happening for a reason and I am doing my best to accept it and share my experiences.
I will kick Cancer in the butt and will be rid of it at the end of this journey. I will keep all posted on my progress as I traverse this Christian's Woman's Journey Through Breast Cancer.
God Bless You and Those You Love!
Kelly
The mammogram exam itself was easy and I was joking around with the technician about her in-laws. I had been excused when done with the exam to go and get dressed, As I was getting dressed the technician yelled out "Wait..." and so the journey began. She almost missed the extremely small tumor but there it was in the on screen picture of my left breast. The radiologist had a sonogram done to get more info and after that exam recommended to me that I see a surgeon.
The year before I had gone in for a lump that I found in my right breast which ended up to be scar tissue from a horse bite I had received over a year earlier. I had a biopsy done on it and it turned out to be benign. When this tumor showed up in my left breast, and in roughly the same place as in the right, I was not highly concerned. I thought it was just more scar tissue or that maybe I was just a tumor maker.
A few days later after my needle biopsy on my left breast I was left wondering what the results would be, but I tried not to think about it much. I prayed to God for complete healing and had my on-line Bible Study group pray for me as well.
The following week I went into see my surgeon and was told that the tumor was cancer and that it was invasive ductal carcinoma and that it was tripple negative. It was originally .75 cm in size (smaller than my pinky fingernail) and most was removed during the biopsy. A lumpectomy was scheduled.
My mother had breast cancer in the same breast in early 2000's and had a single mastectomy and in 2004 died from ovarian cancer. So my surgeon and I agreed I should be genetically tested to see if I had the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation.
A week later I received the news from my surgeon that I did have the BRA2 gene mutation, so figured that is why, at age 47, I have breast cancer.
Upon getting this news my surgeon suggested that due to my type of cancer and my BRCA2 gene mutation, that I should consider a bilateral mastectomy and double oophorectomy. I was shocked but thought instantly of my kids and told the doctor that I wanted to go through with his suggestion. I also stated that I wanted reconstruction, which my mother did not go through. At my age it is important to me to look and be as close to normal as possible. Not all women take this route, but felt it was best for me. He referred me to a plastic surgeon, an oncologist, and called my gynecologist who referred me to a gynecological surgeon.
I have been praying about my decision since the moment I made it. I have been praying since the moment I found out I had a tumor, to be honest. I will tell you, that if it weren't for my Faith and Love for Jesus, and His guiding presence, I would be a puddle of mush on the floor. I tell Him about my worries and my anxieties and with that comes His peace and acceptance. I won't say that I am 100% positive all the time, but I do try to keep up my spirits and God takes care of the rest.
This experience is not an easy journey, and I have just gotten started. I have been reading other's blogs with similar journeys and experiences. They are all right - this is an individual journey. But I don't understand how anyone can truly get through this without a close relationship with God. He is my Rock and my Salvation. He has put so many wonderful people in my life's path to help me with this. He gave me a very loving and caring husband who has been so supportive since he got the news. He even puts up with me when I have my "moment"s and he is always looking for people to pray for me. My kids are great and have been trying to help me out around the house and taking care of their school work and to also put up with my "moment"s. My sisters, Kathi and Karen, both are very supportive and are going to be my crutches as I go through the pain and discomfort I will likely endure. My sister, Kathi, will be taking care of me as I recover post-surgery. She has been through this with my mother, so knows what to do and is a great caregiver. I am surrounded by family and friends. My mother-in-law, Sally, has been a great help in letting me talk about my fears and anxieties. My sister-in-law, Tina, has also been great to talk with. My friend, Judy, who is my mother-in-law's next door neighbor, has been through a similar experience and is a great inspiration to me. My husband's Aunt Carol has also been an inspiriation, having survived three bouts of cancer. My friends Winnie and Donna have been so helpful with their love and support and helping me care for my two horses and two goats. I am going on a cancer ride next week to help a local cancer organization raise money. My friends at work have all been so wonderful to me. They call me often to check on me and have all offered to help me on my journey. And there is my GoldDigger Minstry friends who are all praying for me. May God bless each and every one of these wonderful people. And may He help all women going through this journey.
One of the hardest parts about this journey will be the ability for me to let myself heal and to accept and ask for help from others. I think most women have this problem since most of us are caregivers of others. We often put ourselves on the bottom of the needs list. I am learning alot about myself in this process and hope I can get through it all with honor and dignity and that others can see Jesus' light shine through me and that I not block His light. I know all this is happening for a reason and I am doing my best to accept it and share my experiences.
I will kick Cancer in the butt and will be rid of it at the end of this journey. I will keep all posted on my progress as I traverse this Christian's Woman's Journey Through Breast Cancer.
God Bless You and Those You Love!
Kelly
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