Hi and Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. I have so much to be thankful for. I have my relationship with God, my family, my friends, a job, a house, lots of animals that love me unconditionally, and my health. I feel so blessed! I have overcome cancer and am well on the mend.
I spent today cooking, cleaning and eating. I got testy a few times, but all in all it was a good day. I was able to stay on my feet and do way more than I have in over two months. It was a good test for me. Last week I rode Chunky and did well. It's almost like nothing has happened to me.
I met with my oncologist on Tuesday. She tried to talk me into the chemotheraphy but I declined. She said she is an oncologist and that is what she does, so she had to ask one more time. She did finally say she respected my decision. I told her about my mother's reactions to the chemotherapy and my reluctance to have a similar fate. I seem to take after my mother in many ways. She also wants me to see another oncologist that deals with pancreas screenings due to my maternal uncle having and dying from pancreatic cancer. This same oncologist is moving onto another position in California and a new doctor is being assigned to me. I have decided to wait to see what this new doctor thinks. It turns out that this new oncologist specializes in genetics. I am to see her for a cancer screening in February (now every 3 months since I guess I am an at risk patient). I want to concentrate on my reconstruction for now and get that completed before starting any new possible procedures. The screening for pancreatic cancer sounds a bit invasive and I think I've done enough invasive procedures for awhile. If I am being screened every three months, anything that shows up should be caught early enough. I am not worried. God has taken care of the cancer and is keeping me healthy. I do need to lose the rest of my weight (about 35 pounds), so I need to get back on my diet and work to continue to lose the rest of my weight like I had planned before all this cancer stuff started.
I had a dental check up yesterday and have another cavity to get filled. So next month I am back to the dentist for a filling. I think I have been to the dentist this year more than I had been in my entire life before this year. My teeth are in pretty good shape for someone who did not frequent the dentist for years. But, it seems, now that I'm going, more problems are showing up. This was the year for many dental and doctor appointments.
I don't take anything that the doctors tell me lightly. I think through each thing they tell me, do research, pray, then decide on my course of action. I don't always agree with the doctors. It is my body and I have to do with it what I think is right. Above all I pray about each and every decision and I read the Bible. This always helps me to focus. God always leads me to the right decision and I am getting much better and paying attention and doing what he wants me to do. I am not perfect and I do panic sometimes and worry - but then I remember I have God's Peace within me and I am alright again.
Many of my friends tell me how strong they think I am. I am not strong, not alone I'm not. I am strong because God is carrying me through all of this. My Faith in God to get me through this journey and the people He has loved into my path - that is what has gotten me through. If you know me really well - you know I am a worrier and I don't uaually handle stress well. But you will also have to admit that I am alot more calm and happy than I would have been a few years ago. I believe I am being used by God to show what His Mercy, Grace, Peace and Love can do for you. If it works for me, it will definitely work for you. You just have to invite Him into your heart. He gave us all free will - you have the right to choose. "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice" - Free Will, Rush
I hope that you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family and friends and that you enjoyed the food and fellowship today. We are so blessed! It's nice to be able to give God thanks for what we have - to concentrate on what we have and not on what we don't.
Love to all! May God Bless your steps each and every day!
Kelly
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