My Journey - Pre Surgery and Pre-Treatment

My journey began in early August of this year, 2011. I had a mammogram that I had put off for several months. I was due to have it in March, but everyday life and several dentist appointments got in my way.

The mammogram exam itself was easy and I was joking around with the technician about her in-laws. I had been excused when done with the exam to go and get dressed, As I was getting dressed the technician yelled out "Wait..." and so the journey began. She almost missed the extremely small tumor but there it was in the on screen picture of my left breast. The radiologist had a sonogram done to get more info and after that exam recommended to me that I see a surgeon.

The year before I had gone in for a lump that I found in my right breast which ended up to be scar tissue from a horse bite I had received over a year earlier. I had a biopsy done on it and it turned out to be benign. When this tumor showed up in my left breast, and in roughly the same place as in the right, I was not highly concerned. I thought it was just more scar tissue or that maybe I was just a tumor maker.

A few days later after my needle biopsy on my left breast I was left wondering what the results would be, but I tried not to think about it much. I prayed to God for complete healing and had my on-line Bible Study group pray for me as well.

The following week I went into see my surgeon and was told that the tumor was cancer and that it was invasive ductal carcinoma and that it was tripple negative. It was originally .75 cm in size (smaller than my pinky fingernail) and most was removed during the biopsy. A lumpectomy was scheduled.

My mother had breast cancer in the same breast in early 2000's and had a single mastectomy and in 2004 died from ovarian cancer. So my surgeon and I agreed I should be genetically tested to see if I had the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation.

A week later I received the news from my surgeon that I did have the BRA2 gene mutation, so figured that is why, at age 47, I have breast cancer.

Upon getting this news my surgeon suggested that due to my type of cancer and my BRCA2 gene mutation, that I should consider a bilateral mastectomy and double oophorectomy. I was shocked but thought instantly of my kids and told the doctor that I wanted to go through with his suggestion. I also stated that I wanted reconstruction, which my mother did not go through. At my age it is important to me to look and be as close to normal as possible. Not all women take this route, but felt it was best for me. He referred me to a plastic surgeon, an oncologist, and called my gynecologist who referred me to a gynecological surgeon.

I have been praying about my decision since the moment I made it. I have been praying since the moment I found out I had a tumor, to be honest. I will tell you, that if it weren't for my Faith and Love for Jesus, and His guiding presence, I would be a puddle of mush on the floor. I tell Him about my worries and my anxieties and with that comes His peace and acceptance. I won't say that I am 100% positive all the time, but I do try to keep up my spirits and God takes care of the rest.

This experience is not an easy journey, and I have just gotten started. I have been reading other's blogs with similar journeys and experiences. They are all right - this is an individual journey. But I don't understand how anyone can truly get through this without a close relationship with God. He is my Rock and my Salvation. He has put so many wonderful people in my life's path to help me with this. He gave me a very loving and caring husband who has been so supportive since he got the news. He even puts up with me when I have my "moment"s and he is always looking for people to pray for me. My kids are great and have been trying to help me out around the house and taking care of their school work and to also put up with my "moment"s. My sisters, Kathi and Karen, both are very supportive and are going to be my crutches as I go through the pain and discomfort I will likely endure. My sister, Kathi, will be taking care of me as I recover post-surgery. She has been through this with my mother, so knows what to do and is a great caregiver. I am surrounded by family and friends. My mother-in-law, Sally, has been a great help in letting me talk about my fears and anxieties. My sister-in-law, Tina, has also been great to talk with. My friend, Judy, who is my mother-in-law's next door neighbor, has been through a similar experience and is a great inspiration to me. My husband's Aunt Carol has also been an inspiriation, having survived three bouts of cancer. My friends Winnie and Donna have been so helpful with their love and support and helping me care for my two horses and two goats. I am going on a cancer ride next week to help a local cancer organization raise money. My friends at work have all been so wonderful to me. They call me often to check on me and have all offered to help me on my journey. And there is my GoldDigger Minstry friends who are all praying for me. May God bless each and every one of these wonderful people. And may He help all women going through this journey.

One of the hardest parts about this journey will be the ability for me to let myself heal and to accept and ask for help from others. I think most women have this problem since most of us are caregivers of others. We often put ourselves on the bottom of the needs list. I am learning alot about myself in this process and hope I can get through it all with honor and dignity and that others can see Jesus' light shine through me and that I not block His light. I know all this is happening for a reason and I am doing my best to accept it and share my experiences.

I will kick Cancer in the butt and will be rid of it at the end of this journey. I will keep all posted on my progress as I traverse this Christian's Woman's Journey Through Breast Cancer.

God Bless You and Those You Love!

Kelly